Human relationships are beautifully complex. Each one is different, and even two sets of extremely similar people can have two wildly different relationships when it comes to boundaries, dynamics, and communication. These layered interactions and difference in tastes are what make us so wonderful, and add a real spice to life when meeting new people!
They're also difficult because of this, as you never know when you two might clash on a topic. Thankfully, there are some traits that are universally beloved and you can easily embody them in order to make you a better partner in your relationships.
In any relationship, always take stock of your feelings and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it's much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.
When entering a new relationship, our biggest hope is that it works out. It's fresh, the love we're feeling is intense, we're diving into the honeymoon phase with dreams of staying together forever.
Of course, even if the start of a relationship is absolutely perfect, there's no determining how things will shake out. Any number of things could suddenly happen that can cause the dissolvement of a relationship in a second.
What if there was a way to secure better chances at success in a relationship? What if it all boiled down to one trait?
Well, as it turns out, that's actually the case. There's one trait that can better predict relationship success.
Harvard psychologist David McClelland has long since believed that gratification is a key element in both fostering and maintaining healthy relationships. Past research has also proven that positive attitudes toward our relationships help strengthen them, laying down groundwork based on mutual respect and satisfaction. McClelland has developed a framework for understanding human needs in relationships, and through this framework, one need stood out among the rest.
What's at the core of all these things then? What's the singular trait that relates to gratification, positive attitudes in relationships, and can be considered a core human need?
Reliability.
Reliability can also be seen as predictability or consistency. It's providing a steady, similar response to certain situations that allows your partner to feel safe in those scenarios as they'll be able to understand how you might react. If you respond well to a situation the first time, but explode in a volatile rage the second time, they'll now think of you as unpredictable and frightening. Because of your outburst, they'll avoid bringing that topic up in the future.
Bottling up issues and refusing to speak about them because you're scared of your significant other's response is a surefire way to send a relationship down a dark path.
Reliability is also important when it comes to keeping promises, which, of course, is valued in relationships. When individuals are reliable, others can trust that their intentions are genuine and that they are willing to follow through with whatever they commit to.
In order for relationships to last, each person must be reliable by consistently upholding their end of the arrangement, whether it be showing up on time, following through with agreed-upon tasks, or honoring promises made. When both individuals in a bond are dependable, trust and mutual respect will strengthen the ties between them.
Someone who lacks reliability is often untrustworthy in their words, their tasks, and their relationships, as there's no way to know what they'll actually stick with. They often demonstrate an unwillingness to commit to just about anything, which not only erodes trust with a partner, but creates a general reputation for themselves as being difficult to deal with.
When an unreliable person continuously refuses to show up and do the work needed in a relationship, the other person will begin to withdraw.
A lack of reliability is often seen alongside other undesirable traits like self-centeredness, flightiness, even deceptiveness.
Reliability and all the wonderful traits that come with it can be learned. Those who are flighty or non-commital are not lost forever, nor are they automatically bad people, there are a number of things they can practice to improve how others view them.
Being honest and having the courage to admit mistakes proactively is a great place to start. Practicing honesty with themselves and others will help teach them that truth is a priority, and as such, they'll be less likely to lie about commitments in the future.
It's also worth training themselves away from being critical of others. If someone is so used to hating on other people, they may even start doing it about loved ones behind their backs, and should that be discovered, it will destroy any sense of trust between them. To be reliable is so be upfront about your feelings, no matter what they are.
There are also predictable pieces of advice such as delivering on their promises, arriving at places when they say they will, and following through with commitments.
Finally, regularly checking in and staying in communication with those relying onthem shows both dedication and trustworthiness.
Being reliable largely boils down to respecting others. Doing what you say you will do and following through with promises is an essential part of building respect, as it plainly shows that you respect someone's time and presence in your life.
Being reliable shows others that they can count on you, even when life gets hard, thus relieving their stress and worry. Being reliable means doing your part to strengthen not only your relationship but your community, your circle, your support network. If you love those people in your life, there's no better way to show them than by treating them with respect!
Learning to commit and be responsible for one’s actions is a process that many struggle with. Building reliable habits takes a mindful approach and attention to detail and, as with any habit, it takes time and a great deal of consistency. Being reliable also takes a certain level of discipline and self-control to stay committed to certain tasks and objectives. It's easy to become overwhelmed and start to slip, so having a support group to help stay motivated is critical as well.
In any relationship, always take stock of your feelings and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it's much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.
Becoming reliable is far from easy work, and it takes a lot of effort, but feeling that mutual trust in relationships is well worth it.
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