There’s One Word That Can Save Your Relationship

One Small Change

Thankfully, there is.

A 2015 study published in the journal Personal Relationships outlined the role that gratitude plays in a relationship, especially in the face of distress (specifically financial distress). The results showed that couples with more frequent expressions of gratitude have higher quality marriages and a reduced likelihood for divorce.

It doesn't have to be complicated either. Something as small as saying "thanks" more often is enough to make your relationships a happier one.

Strength In Appreciation

As Dr. Ted Futris, co-author of the study, wrote, "We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last."

The recommended implementation of this mindset was to appreciate your spouse more actively, acknowledge when they've done something nice for you, and vocalize that acknowledgment with gratitude or praise.

Happier To Be Thankful

The study involved 468 couples who were asked to rate the quality of their marriages as well as how they express their gratitude for one another. There was a very clear correlation between high levels of gratitude and highly-rated marriages.

Dr. Allen Barton, another co-author, said, "It goes to show the power of 'thank you'. Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes."

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Miscommunications

Increased gratitude also helps combat negative patterns in relationships, namely one called 'demand/withdraw.'

As Dr. Barton explained, "Demand/withdraw communication occurs when one partner tends to demand, nag or criticize, while the other responds by withdrawing or avoiding the confrontation.

"Although wife demand/husband withdraw interactions appear more commonly in couples, in the current study we found financial distress was associated with lower marital outcomes through its effects on increasing the total amount of both partners' demand/withdraw interactions."

Gratitude's Power

"Importantly, we found that when couples are engaging in a negative conflict pattern like demand/withdrawal, expressions of gratitude and appreciation can counteract or buffer the negative effects of this type of interaction on marital stability."

So not only does regular gratitude help maintain happiness, it also dispels discord, for even in the midst of stress, a couple is more likely to remember and appreciate the good they see in one another.

Preventative And Restorative

Even with this tip, there's no way to guarantee an argument-free relationship. You have to learn how not just to avoid arguments but how to defuse them when they inevitably happen.

Dr. Futris explained it best when he wrote, "All couples have disagreements and argue. And, when couples are stressed, they are likely to have more arguments."

"What distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don't is not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis."