The Real Alpha Male Traits That Women Actually Want In A Man

This article may contain affiliate links, learn more.

Have you ever thought of a large man with chiseled muscles, a confident CEO, or maybe a lone-wolf type who's as distant and mysterious as an 'alpha male'? Now, what if I told you that none of these images are true and that the true alpha males of the world are nothing like those listed above?

What makes an alpha male has been warped and twisted over the years, but those outdated stereotypes are starting to fall away, meaning the true nature of alpha males is finally being revealed.

Finding the right man, one who's respectful and kind can sometimes feel impossible. There are so many options, so many of them duds, how are you meant to both find and keep that perfect match?

Hear relationship expert Amy North share her secret technique for both of those problems. Find the man of your dreams and lock him down, click here to find out how!

What True Strength Looks Like

A man photographed from behind of a muscular man flexing his arms while shirtless.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro

When you hear the term "alpha male," what comes to mind? Chances are, you're picturing a loud, domineering man who exudes confidence and takes charge in every situation, for better or worse. Society has created this idea that this type of man, one who holds himself above everyone else, is what all men should strive to be, for it's the type of man that women want.

However, the reality of what women find attractive in a partner is far more nuanced and surprising than these outdated stereotypes suggest. In fact, the traits that make for a true alpha male in the eyes of women are often quite different from what popular culture would have us believe.

ADVERTISEMENT

1. Emotional Intelligence

ADVERTISEMENT
A man holding a paper cutout of a heart over his chest.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

Contrary to the stereotype of the stoic, emotionless alpha male, women are drawn to men who possess high emotional intelligence, meaning the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions as well as those of others. Men who can effectively communicate their feelings and empathize with their partners create stronger, more honest relationships, and help women feel comfortable expressing their own feelings.

ADVERTISEMENT

Women appreciate men who know how to handle both their own emotions and those of others while maintaining healthy boundaries. These skills are true signs of strength.

ADVERTISEMENT

2. Active Listening

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A man and a woman standing in front of a colorful wall, the man with her arm around the man's, the man leaning down to listen to what she's saying.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

One of the most underrated alpha male traits is the ability to listen actively and attentively. Women value partners who are genuinely interested in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Active listening involves more than just hearing the words being said, it needs full engagement, asking thoughtful questions and providing meaningful feedback.

ADVERTISEMENT

Men who practice active listening show respect for their partner's perspective and create a safe space for open communication. By giving their full attention and showing empathy during conversations, men create a sense of trust and intimacy that is incredibly attractive to women.

ADVERTISEMENT

3. Vulnerability

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A man sitting outside, a hand to his forehead, looking thoughtful.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

Traditionally, vulnerability has been seen as a weakness, especially for men. However, women find men who are willing to be vulnerable and authentic very attractive. The ability to share one's fears, insecurities, and emotions demonstrates strength of character, self-awareness, and proof that they're comfortable with their emotions, all of which are strengths, not weaknesses.

ADVERTISEMENT

By embracing vulnerability, men create opportunities for deeper emotional connections with their partners, and women appreciate that they're willing to let down their guard and share their true selves.

ADVERTISEMENT

4. Respect For Boundaries

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A man and a woman walking through an large garden, each holding drinks, smiling as they talk.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

A genuine alpha male understands the importance of respecting boundaries, both his own and those of others. Men who can recognize and honor personal limits without feeling threatened or insecure prove that they're emotionally mature and have a strong sense of self.

ADVERTISEMENT

Respecting boundaries doesn't mean just respecting one's physical space, it also includes emotional and mental boundaries. Men who can communicate their own needs while also being considerate of their partner's help create a safe, comfortable, and trusting environment. It proves that they not only listen, but take their partner's words to heart, too.

Don't let the perfect man pass you by, click here to learn how relationship experts are keeping their soulmate.

ADVERTISEMENT

5. Self-Improvement Mindset

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A man sitting on the beach, looking out at the horizon, writing in a journal.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

Women are drawn to men who demonstrate a commitment to personal growth and self-improvement. A growth mindset isn't just about finances or careers, it involves viewing challenges as opportunities for emotional development rather than obstacles to bang one's head against.

ADVERTISEMENT

Men who actively seek out new experiences, learn from their mistakes, and work on developing their knowledge are seen as more dynamic and interesting partners. This trait also indicates a willingness to evolve and grow within a relationship, which is essential for long-term compatibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

6. Empathic Soul

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A man sitting next to his wife who's sad about something, putting an arm around her and leaning into her comfortingly.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

Empathy is a very important trait that women find attractive in men. The ability to put oneself in another's shoes and truly understand their experiences is powerful, it helps someone become more understanding, patient, and kind.

ADVERTISEMENT

It goes beyond just acknowledging others' feelings, it involves actively trying to understand and validate those feelings. Men who demonstrate empathy are more likely to be supportive partners, attentive friends, and compassionate people overall, qualities that women value greatly for they build a sense of emotional safety and mutual understanding within a relationship.

ADVERTISEMENT

7. Collaborative Leadership

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A business man leading a meeting, smiling as he delegates tasjks.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

While traditional alpha male stereotypes often depict a lone wolf or authoritarian leader, women are more attracted to men who exhibit collaborative leadership skills. This involves the ability to inspire and motivate others while working alongside them as part of a team. Collaborative leaders value input from others and are willing to share credit for successes.

ADVERTISEMENT

Men who lead by example, delegate effectively, and empower those around them demonstrate confidence and competence without resorting to domineering behavior. Women appreciate partners who can take charge when necessary but also know how to support and elevate others at the same time.

ADVERTISEMENT

8. True Authenticity

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A man reaching over to another man, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

In a world full of pretense and social media personas, authenticity stands out as a highly attractive trait. Authenticity here means aligning one's actions with your values and being transparent about who you are, including your strengths and weaknesses. Women are drawn to men who are genuine, honest, and true to themselves.

ADVERTISEMENT

Men who embrace their authentic selves exude a quiet confidence that is far more appealing than any façade of perfection. Authentic people are also more likely to pursue their passions and live life on their own terms, which is inherently attractive to women who value individuality and personal growth.

ADVERTISEMENT

Power In Vulnerability

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
A man holding up a small french bulldog to his face, smiling as he does.
Canva Pro
Canva Pro
ADVERTISEMENT

The true alpha male of today is quite different from the stereotypical image often portrayed in popular culture. The qualities that women find genuinely attractive are rooted in emotional intelligence, respect, and personal growth, not physical strength, cockiness, and material wealth.

ADVERTISEMENT

As we continue to redefine what it means to be an alpha male and promote a more evolved understanding of masculinity, we open up new possibilities for more meaningful and healthier relationships. Emotionally strong men are the ones who help a relationship thrive for decades, not those who act like they're above being a loving partner.