We tend to live our lives through the eyes of others. It's not intentional but due to our human desire to connect and be accepted, we give a lot of weight to how others perceive us. However, sometimes it's necessary to remind ourselves that we don't owe anyone anything if we're not harming them.
When it comes to these 7 specific things, what you do about them is completely and only up to you. And if anyone feels entitled to an explanation, remember that you don't owe them one, ever. Those who follow this principle live a much freer life.
The only opinion you should listen to is yours. When it comes to making hard decisions, people will always have something to say about it but the only person who has to live with the aftermath of your choices is you.
So who cares if it's risky, doesn't make sense, doesn't pay the most, requires a lot of effort, or doesn't have an immediate benefit. If a decision feels good to you, then make the choice to go after it even if that goes against everyone else's opinion.
You can simply say no without a lengthy explanation of why. No is a sentence in itself that doesn't require an introduction or conclusion. You might feel like the polite, nice or caring thing to do is to allow others into your space, to give them your energy, and to always say yes, but if you do that you will burnout and never have any left to give back to yourself.
Boundaries are healthy and actually necessary to have good lasting relationships and a fulfilling life.
You'll never look just "right." Someone's bound to think that you're too thin, too fat, too short, too tall, too hairy, not hairy enough....you get the point. The beauty ideal that we have set as a society is completely unattainable. You don't need to explain to anyone what diet you're on or what color you want to dye your hair.
The only question that should ever matter is: "how do you feel in your own body?" As long as you feel good, and treat your body with kindness, then all the rest is just noise.
Silence speaks for itself. You don't always have to have a response. You can take time and go completely M.I.A if that's what you need to do to protect your energy. You can go a day without answering your phone without needing to apologize for it. People will feel entitled to response and your attention but if they truly care about you then they will respect you when you need to go silent.
Silence is also privacy, which you also don't need to have an explanation for. Despite the social media culture, you don't need to share or broadcast every detail of life. Some things are better-enjoyed and processed quietly.
No one truly knows what goes on behind closed doors. No matter how much you share about your relationship, the only two people who will ever truly understand the depth of the dynamics are the two people who share the relationship. You don't need always to have everyone get along or even like the person you're dating as long as they make you happy.
In that same sense, you have no obligation to stay with someone just because everyone is sure they're the perfect match for you. Your gut is the only guide you can trust.
We live in an extremely judgemental world. We are all somewhat insecure because of the pressure we feel to excel in everything we do and always pushing for something "better" that we project our fears of never getting there to each other. We cast out anyone who tries to be different and thinks outside the box.
By othering them we think that we're eliminating the threat that different is what's "better." But the truth is different really is better because it's authentic, it's lawless, and it's genuine. It's free of limitations and standards.
Our go go go culture makes us believe that we should be strong enough that we should never be upset too long and that when something happens, we should just "get over it" and "move on." However, by pushing past emotions, we never truly take the time to process them and heal from them.
We become damaged and carry our baggage wherever we go. You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you "haven’t gotten over it yet," and you don't have to be happy all the time. You're human; all you have to do is feel everything as it comes and let it pass in time naturally.
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