10 Common Behaviors Of A Highly Insecure Person
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Everyone feels insecure about something. We can't all be confident all of the time, or, if you are, it's something you've probably spent years working on and building up to get to this point. Confidence should always be our goal, but it doesn't come easily.
When you live long enough with pervasive, constant insecurity, it starts to bleed into everyday behaviors until it becomes something you're constantly carrying with you. By learning how your insecurity manifests, you might be able to stop it when you see it, making an important turn toward a more confident future. Keep reading to learn more.
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Deep-Seated Doubts
Nobody likes feeling insecure. It's uncomfortable, it's pervasive, and for anyone prone to anxious lines of thinking, it can grow and spread at an unprecedented rate. To feel insecure is to feel like we are lower than the people around us, which never leaves us feeling good.
Some people try to deny their insecurity, hiding behind other behaviors that they believe mask those beliefs but instead give them away. By looking out for these traits, you might be able to spot someone who's in desperate need of help or recognize that you're the one who's lost in your own uncertainty.
1. Seeking Validation From Others
One of the most obvious behaviors of an insecure person is their constant need for validation from others. This can look like always asking for opinions before making decisions, even small ones, or needing constant reassurance about their appearance, work, and behavior.
While it's natural to want advice or feedback, relying so heavily on others' approval just to feel valued points to a deeper sense of insecurity. It's a sign that the person doesn't trust their own judgment or believes their opinions hold no value.
2. Being Overly Competitive
Competition is a natural part of life, driving us to improve ourselves and achieve great things. However, when the desire to win becomes an obsession, it can reveal deep-seated insecurities in someone's soul.
An overly competitive person may constantly compare themselves to others, not just in games or sports but in every aspect of life, from career achievements to personal milestones. This relentless comparison can stem from a fear of not being 'enough,' as they feel they have to push themselves to always be the best in order to have any worth.
3. Becoming A Bully
Aggression and bullying are often perceived as signs of strength or dominance, but they can also be indicators of profound insecurity. People who resort to these tactics may do so as a defense mechanism, attempting to mask their vulnerabilities by projecting an image of toughness.
Of course, that's no excuse for behaving this way, as it damages the people who wind up being harmed by the aggressor's words. However, it's also damaging to said aggressor, as it prevents them from forming genuine connections that may help them overcome their instinct to put others down.
4. Constant Overcompensation
Overcompensation is another behavior that can reveal some deeply rooted insecurity. This might involve flaunting wealth, exaggerating certain achievements, or adopting a persona that doesn't reflect one's true self. The underlying motive is to impress others and prove one's worth via material success, driven by a fear that one's genuine self might not be enough.
This behavior often leads to a cycle of dissatisfaction, as the validation gained from these superficial displays is fleeting and does not address the root of the insecurity. It can also cause feelings of loneliness or isolation as they won't be connecting with people in a real way.
5. Avoiding Social Situations
Avoidance of social situations is another common behavior among insecure people. This can stem from a constant fear of judgment or rejection, leading someone to withdraw from social events and even turn down invites from well-meaning friends.
While it's normal to feel nervous in social settings, many people struggle with social anxiety or simply have nerves in big crowds, consistently avoiding them can be a sign of deeper insecurities about one's ability to connect with others or be accepted.
6. Apologizing For Everything
Excessive apologizing, even for things that don't warrant an apology, can be yet another sign of insecurity. If anyone around them seems even slightly put off by something they said, or maybe they didn't get the response they were expecting for something, they'll apologize, immediately assuming that they must have done something grievously wrong.
These types of people have a constant awareness of their perceived flaws and a fear of offending others. It's as if the person feels they must preemptively apologize for their existence, driven by a belief that they are inherently a burden or unworthy.
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7. Being Unable To Accept Compliments
For an insecure person, accepting compliments can be surprisingly challenging. Instead of feeling flattered, they might deflect, deny, or question the sincerity of the praise. These people find recognizing their value and worth to be not only difficult but impossible, and if they can't see it, surely others must be lying when they point it out, too.
It's as though the compliment contradicts their internal narrative of not being good enough, creating a dissonance that feels uncomfortable or anxiety-inducing. It's easier to write off the compliment as being wholly false so the recipient doesn't have to combat that sense of unease.
8. Rampant Perfectionism
An obsession with perfection can also indicate feelings of insecurity. An insecure person might set impossibly high standards for themselves and be overly critical of any perceived shortcomings. They believe they have to achieve the absolute best that they can without fault, and anything less is evidence that they're simply not as good as other people.
The drive for perfection can also be rooted in a fear of criticism or failure, leading to a constant state of anxiety and stress. It's a pursuit of an unattainable standard that no one expects them to fulfill, but they push themselves to it anyway.
9. Feelings Of Jealousy
Jealousy and envy are rather common feelings that can arise from insecurity. An insecure person might feel threatened by someone else's success or happiness, viewing it as a reflection of their own inadequacies should they not have those same things or live that same life.
Such extreme levels of jealousy can strain relationships and prevent someone from looking at ways to actually improve their life. Instead, they'll simply sit and ruminate on all the things they're not, hindering their potential for growth and even eroding their relationships with others.
10. Reluctance To Trust Others
Thinking lowly of oneself and being so insecure doesn't often appear out of nowhere. There was a catalyst, words said, or experiences that instilled a feeling of being lesser than. This past pain or trauma can make it very difficult to trust people later, even years down the line.
Someone who's been hurt in this way won't want to relive that pain, so they keep themselves sheltered, believing this to be the only way to fully protect themselves. While it's important to be cautious, a complete inability to trust can prevent good, healthy relationships from forming, only perpetuating the very same behavior.
Your Path Forward
Recognizing and understanding the behaviors that stem from and indicate insecurity is an important part of personal growth and building healthier relationships. By learning how to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and work through them rather than masking them with behaviors that ultimately hold us back, we become smarter, more aware of ourselves, and more open to experiences that might have triggered anxiety in the past. Embracing this vulnerability allows us to connect more authentically with others and ourselves, creating a lasting sense of acceptance and belonging.
Overcoming insecurity is a long journey, one that involves a lot of self-reflection, patience, and courage to face our fears. By confronting these behaviors and the emotions that drive them, we can begin to heal and move towards a more secure and fulfilled life.
