Man Pays Wife Allowance To Stay At Home, Believes Work Is Unnatural For Her
In the hustle and bustle of modern society, it's normal to fantasize about getting away from it all. Maybe that's escaping to the countryside for a vacation, or travelling somewhere completely remote to go off the grid. Or, maybe, it's just being able to turn off your phone for a day.
For one U.K. couple, it was slightly different than that. They wanted to embody a couple reminiscent of quite a few decades ago now, a decision which drew many opinions from all over the world.
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From The Outside
It's easy to look at someone else's relationship, or even just their individual lifestyle, and judge. We all have our own idea about what we want our lives to be, and seeing someone do something so far and away from what we envision for ourselves, it can be hard to understand why they think that way.
Sometimes, someone lives so against the current norm that they confuse people en masse, drawing plenty of attention, criticism, and also support their way.
A Massive Change
Like Alena Petitt, who caused quite the stir after appearing on ITV's This Morning some time ago to share with the world the ways of her 'traditional' marriage.
Pettit used to have a successful career as a marketing manager within the beauty industry, and through that job she met her future husband. Pettit claims she wasn't feeling fulfilled at work, finding her sense of purpose more in the home than in her career.
So, with her husband's encouragement (and his writing her letter of resignation for her), she quit her job to chase after the 'traditional' stay-at-home wife life of her dreams.
Her Natural Element
It goes beyond just homemaking, though. Pettit's life now focuses on 'obeying' her husband, or so she told This Morning hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield. "I did [say obey in my wedding vows]... well, there are certain things I don't obey about, as in any marriage, but because he is the bread winner, that's his department to look after our family - it's almost like a business!" she said.
Her husband has always been in her corner about this. In fact, Pettit said it was thanks to his 'identifying' that she needed to escape the 'unnatural environment' of her workplace that she ever considered quitting at all.
How Money Is Handled
"He oversees major finances, so if I obviously want to spend some money on new sofas, he'll say no as that's because he knows what's coming in and going out."
Because she no longer works, she gets an 'allowance' of sorts from her husband so she can maintain their household. She describes this allowance as 'housekeeping money' that acts as her equivalent of a paycheck, with half of it going to standard things like taxes, rent, insurance, and their mortgage.
"I get the money to look after my department, which is the consumables of the household like food and fuel for the car," she explained.
Beyond The Funds
Not all of her money goes toward the home, she says. "And then, of course, there's some in there for me. And if I'm really frugal with it, whatever is left is mine - he's not pouring over my receipts saying that I'm going a good job and being a good little wifey."
Her attitude and desire to be a 'traditional wife' is about more than just money and work. It's an entire lifestyle change.
She channels the aesthetics and behaviors of the 1950s, with a focus on things like "family values, keeping traditions alive, and good old fashioned manners," as she writes on her website.
Looked Down Upon
She frequently stresses that becoming a 'traditional wife' was her choice, one that should be considered valid under the looking glass of feminism, which she still subscribes to.
She's spoken about how she and other housewives are made to feel lesser than other women for choosing to stay at home and look after their husbands, even being called fake feminists for it.
"So many women say 'I feel so glad that you are finally speaking up' because the narrative is what do you do and they say I'm 'just' a housewife." she said.
A Labor Of Love
She also emphasizes that homemaking is just as much a job as anything else when it comes to the actual output of work. "We've actually got 20 jobs to do and it's a lot of multi-tasking, a lot of caretaking of other people and we do it all the time. There's no day off so it is a job."
This becomes even more true if the housewife in question is also raising a child. Pettit doesn't speak much about her family in detail on any of her platforms, but has confirmed that she has at least one child.
Maintaining The Lifestyle
Pettit has turned her lifestyle into a brand of sorts, posting blogs, guides, and videos to her aforementioned website, Facebook page, and YouTube channel, all under the name of 'The Darling Academy.'
She's also written two books about her life and passions, Ladies Like Us, which is about her "rise to grace" and finding herself within feminine identity, then English Etiquette, which explains why etiquette is still important today.
Her blog posts now talk about a wide variety of things from baking to feminine identity, tea reviews to the unique experience of being a housewife.
What's Right For Her
During her appearance on This Morning and online ever since, her choices have caused quite the debate, drawing out fevered responses from both sides. People either enthusiastically agree with her choice to return to an antiquated way of living, or find the dynamic between her and her husband concerning at best.
No matter your opinion, it's important to remember that it still is within her right to choose this lifestyle, as it's not one that's hurting anybody else around her. The rest of the details are likely more subjective than they seem on the surface.
In any relationship, always take stock of your feelings and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it's much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.
