Man Demands Girlfriend Put Down Her Horse To “Prioritize Their Relationship”
When entering a new relationship, you want to make sure the person has your best interests at heart. That means supporting your interests, learning about what makes you happy, and not getting in the way of your passions. They should be there to support you in what you love, not try to diminish it so you can focus more on them instead.
It's not always easy to judge this area of someone's character right away though, as some people wait to spring their more questionable sides on someone until the relationship is more established. As those true, ugly colors show, problems start arising immediately.
Even if your partner hasn't recently asked you to put down your beloved horse, always take stock of your feelings in a relationship and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it's much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.
A Pet's Role
The connection between a person and their pet is unique and deeply founded. They form a lasting bond, often built on companionship and unconditional love. For some, a pet is a best friend, a companion who never judges and is always there to welcome them home, a constant provider of comfort that is loved with all their owner has to offer.
To try and come between the bond someone has with their animal—especially if that animal was in their life before you—rarely ever comes with a good reason, proven yet again by a recent viral story.
Seeking Advice
One woman's story about her boyfriend's disrespect for her pet had the internet in shock, as his demands were unacceptable.
The story originated from a post on the Am I The A**hole subreddit, wherein people ask whether they were in the wrong or not about a given situation in their lives.
The author of the post was a 24-year-old woman who's been riding horses almost her whole life. She's had her horse, Lady, for over a decade now. She considers Lady her "bestest friend" and loves her so much.
Enter the woman's boyfriend, age 26, of nine months.
An Established Need
The author explains that she was extremely open with her boyfriend when they began dating about how much work taking care of a horse is. It's a major time commitment that could impact their relationship. He claimed he was completely fine with this and made no protest.
She says she spends about three hours every other day with Lady, though it used to be more when she was single. "[...] this is roughly how long it takes for me to do all the cleaning/preparing food/riding. Also most of my friends are at the stable which obviously means this is also social for me."
Starting To Shift
On off days, she'd head to the stable for about an hour to do some daily maintenance.
After six months, her boyfriend came to her and told her she spends too much time at the stable and "should prioritize my relationship more." He even got his family involved to try and convince her she spent too much time at the stable with Lady.
"I wasn't comfortable with this but I am a bit of a pushover so I agreed."
Less And Less
"At first this meant cutting down time at the stable but it has evolved into cutting down riding days. Now I ride about two days a week and the rest I'm simply there to do the basics. All of this as quickly as I can because otherwise I know he’ll be annoyed and pissed off for days and give me the silent treatment. I know my horse isn’t really suffering from not being ridden as often as before but I still feel very guilty that I’m always rushing around her."
This alone was not enough to satisfy her boyfriend, as he soon came to her with an even more extreme demand.
"Then last night he told me it was time to sell Lady."
An Appalling Request
She laughed at his baseless request and asked if he was joking, to which he said no, and again said that she ought to be prioritizing their relationship more. When she debated that she's done nothing but prioritize their relationship, an argument ensued, and the boyfriend revealed he thinks she can just put Lady down as she's an old horse.
"I was furious at this and told him that was absolutely not happening and I would never sell her. He said that any reasonable person would sell or put down their horse in favor of their boyfriend and the only reason I wouldn't is because I only hang out with other insane horse people."
She then asked if she was in the right for refusing to let go of her horse in favor of her partner.
Collective Horror
People rallied behind her, shocked at the boyfriend's ridiculous requests.
"A good boyfriend would prioritize you and allow you to continue spending time with your horse. A serious boyfriend would join you from time to time to spend quality time together doing something you love," explained one kind user.
"I think it's time to put that relationship down and spend more time with your horse and not the horse's a** that is your current bf," said another, echoing the widely shared sentiment that she should dump him.
Questioning Him
Other horse owners chimed in, confirming that three hours at a stable is very standard and that what the boyfriend expected of her was not only inconsiderate but controlling.
As general good advice, one commenter posed an excellent question: "What compromise does he make for you? Don't lose yourself in a relationship, a good guy will work with you to see you happy not tell you to kill what makes you happy."
Another user added alongside their 'dump him' comment, "Find a new [boyfriend] that likes horses so you can ride together."
Drawing Lines
Now, this is a rather extreme example of a partner coming in between someone and what they love, but it's still a perfect case of what not to accept when it comes to your own relationship. You should never, ever let anyone who claims they love you try to cut you off from your sources of happiness.
In an update, the author returned to say that this pattern of manipulation had been going on for some time, she had just been so blind to it until previous comments pointed it out.
Cutting Him Off
After examining their relationship and all the hypocritical things he'd done, she had her brother help her gather the things her boyfriend had left in her apartment, then broke up with him via text.
"He got angry when I told him [why I was breaking up with him], saying he can't believe I was breaking up with him over a "minor disagreement" and when I said him wanting me to kill my horse isn’t a minor disagreement, he said I must be misremembering. I eventually hung up, texted him that his things were packed and free to pick up on the first floor of my building anytime. Then I blocked him. Haven’t heard from him since."
Back With Her Best Friend
"I've spent pretty much all day every day with Lady, my friends and family. I haven’t been this happy in months [...] So that’s all, I am safe and so is Lady. Both of us are a lot happier than we were four days ago and a lot of it is thanks to all of you, so again, thank so much for all the kindness."
Thanks to her reaching out about her boyfriend's awful behavior, she could cut things off before they became any worse, and now knows forever that her passions come before any potential relationship. No one with an attitude like his is worth anyone's time anyway.
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