How To Find Happiness After You’ve Been Hurt, 7 Steps For Finding Joy
It's strange, how often we can feel at odds with our own brains. This is seen most amid feelings of grief, sorrow, or pain, where we're left feeling terrible despite not wanting to, unable to muster up the energy to do anything constructive no matter how hard we try.
To find that motivation, to combat and defeat the grief that hinders us, we must first find our happiness again. This is easier said than done, but what matters most is that it can be done.
Don't let the pains of trauma, especially that which happened in your childhood, poison your life forever. You deserve to heal.
This free and easy quiz helps you identify the roots of your trauma so you can grow beyond them. Click here to learn more today and see how your life can change!
Recovering From The Inevitable
Unfortunately, no life is devoid of pain. We all face tragedy, hurt, trauma, or some other driver of sorrow. What differs between us is how we react to that pain and how we let it affect our lives.
When you've been hurt, whether emotionally or physically, it can feel like the world has lost its color. The memories of the pain can linger, making it difficult to find joy and peace. However, reclaiming happiness is not only possible but paramount. Here are some steps for how you can find your happiness once again.
1. Understand What's Hurting You
Identifying the root of your pain is often the first step toward healing, and for good reason. Sometimes, people stay in unhealthy situations because they fear confronting the layers of pain they carry, only building more layers in the process. Understanding why you were hurt and what makes the memories hard to bear can help you unravel the complexities of your emotions.
It might be painful to relive certain memories, but understanding them is the only way to move forward. Acknowledging your pain allows you to take the first step toward reclaiming your happiness.
2. Express That Pain
Once you've identified your pain, you have to express it. You may not be able to communicate your feelings directly to the person who hurt you, or they may not respond as you wish, but there are other avenues for expressing and thus releasing the darkness inside.
This could mean writing a text you never send, venting to a friend, making art, working it out physically, or even something as simple as screaming into a pillow. By expressing your pain, you gain a deeper understanding of your emotions and can start to identify ways to avoid similar hurt in the future.
3. Avoid Reliving The Past
Reliving past pain can keep you trapped in a loop, even when it hurts, because it gives you a false sense of control over events you can't change. While it's natural to revisit memories in an attempt to understand them better, dwelling on the past prevents you from experiencing happiness in the present.
Staying in the present requires sustained effort and mindfulness. Focus on the here and now, what each of your senses is experiencing, and the natural flow of thoughts you have in response. By grounding yourself in the present moment, you open up more space for joy and peace to enter your life.
This free, simple quiz will help you uncover the roots of your trauma so you can begin to heal. Click here to get started today.
4. Stop Rehashing The Story
Similar to the previous point, repeatedly telling your painful story can keep you stuck in a cycle of suffering. While it might feel comforting to receive reassurance from others, constantly rehashing the past can prevent you from moving forward. It's important to recognize when sharing your story is empowering and when it's holding you back.
Letting go of the past doesn't mean forgetting it, it just means no longer allowing it to control your present and future. Focus instead on creating a new narrative for your life, one that centers around growth and happiness.
5. Let Go Of Guilt
Self-forgiveness is perhaps the most important step for recovery. Whether you blame yourself for what happened or played a role in the situation, you have to separate your actions from your identity. You deserve to start each day without the burden of guilt and regret.
Choosing to forgive yourself is a conscious decision. It involves letting go of self-punishment, of the 'what if's and 'i could have's, then embracing self-compassion. By forgiving yourself, you free yourself from the chains of past mistakes and create a path toward a brighter, happier future.
6. Don't Be Trapped In Victimhood
Constantly and viciously blaming others for your pain might feel justified, but it only keeps you stuck in a victim mentality. While you may not be responsible for what happened to you, you are responsible for your attitude and actions now. Taking responsibility for your happiness empowers you to create a better, more positive, and more fulfilling life.
Shifting from a victim mindset to one of empowerment involves recognizing your own agency and strength. By focusing on what you can control—your thoughts, actions, and responses—you reclaim your power. You're allowed to feel anger, just don't let it be the only emotion that controls you.
7. Rediscover Your Joy
Releasing a pain-centered identity can be challenging, especially if you've carried it for a long time. Remembering who you were before the pain or envisioning who you might have become, while difficult, can help you reconnect with your true self. Identify what brings you joy and peace, then bring those things into your life as often as you can!
Rediscovering joy also involves exploring new activities, relationships, and experiences that make you feel alive. You have to find the confidence to try new things until you find what sticks until you find what overrides the hurt and instead creates a new, joyful identity.
Your Happiness Is Waiting
Healing from hurt is a long, difficult journey. It requires patience, self-compassion, and determination, and you're bound to face challenges along the way, but you're not broken forever. Your peace and your happiness are still within you; you just have to find them again, nourish them, and watch them grow as you do.
Remember, you deserve to feel happy and at peace. Take the first step today, then keep taking it one step at a time. You'll get there. You're destined to.
