Brooke Cagle / Unsplash
We can’t deny that the experiences we have as children shape who we become as adults. Not all children are blessed to have stable childhood where both parents are present, nurturing and attentive. Some parents actually are not deserving of the title at all and end up creating completely traumatizing experiences that their children don’t know how to let go of, not even as adults.
Yet some survivors of childhood trauma refuse to give up their happiness and their future because of their parents’ mistakes. Here is how they broke the cycle.
Anastasia Sklyar / Unsplash
Anastasia Sklyar / Unsplash
“Support from friends who understood what I was going through, some counseling, lots of prayer, and reading that helped me understand the extent of the trauma and my boyfriend who became my fiance, who is now my husband. Get yourself people who are patient and tender and give yourself grace. God knew who I needed and when I needed them.” – youcancallmemaggie / Reddit
The first step to letting go of toxic relationships, even if they’re your parents is by surrounding yourself with relationships that uplift you. Not only does that balance you out, but it re-educates your view of a healthy relationship and gives you hope.
Fares Hamouche / Unsplash
Fares Hamouche / Unsplash
“Eventually you want to unveil the truth about what happened to you. That’s the final goal. It’s because you want to understand why you behave the way that you do. why you react to things (triggers) the way that you do.
All of those things are probably because someone has done those things to you when you were young but you still need to get to the root of it for those things to actually stop. You must see the truth itself completely.” – im_always
Facing the shadows of your past and confronting your inner child is just as difficult as it is rewarding, but either way you owe it to yourself to face the truth.
Debby Hudson / Unsplash
Debby Hudson / Unsplash
“I have used this same technique to ‘rewrite’ memories that I felt strong negative feelings about. It did work but I added the step of writing it out with the new ending like I was remembering it. For me writing it down makes it feel real. Also, don’t try to ‘rewrite’ lots of memories in one day. Just stick to one at a time and then give yourself a break.
Another technique I read about was to pretend to go back in time and parent yourself. Instead of trying to attribute new, loving words and actions to emotionally distant past parents, imagine talking to and cuddling and meeting the needs of your younger self. It is very healing to treat yourself with the love you needed and never got.” soMuchToFind/ Reddit
For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.
Michael Dziedzic / Unsplash
Michael Dziedzic / Unsplash
“I’m on the road to healing, and it’s been hard work. The most important things I’ve learned is how to set boundaries, that I don’t have to constantly work and strive and be 100% all the time to prove I’m a worthy human being, that some of the voices in my head should be ignored because they’re echos of those who wrong me(and how to tell the difference), that I don’t have to grind myself to dust to keep other people from being uncomfortable, that the world doesn’t end if I say “no”. – LunaKip / Reddit
The hardest part about boundaries is to set them with others we first need to set them within ourselves.
Anthony Tran / Unsplash
Anthony Tran / Unsplash
“I had to distance myself from my parents and go minimal contact with them. Not being under constant attack gave me the space to reflect, understand them, and ultimately forgive them. I still have flashbacks and low points every now and then, but I give myself a chance to experience the anguish and get it out of my system.” – Famous-Excuse-8606 / Reddit
Maybe we don’t get to choose our families but despite what others say, we can choose whether or not we keep them in our lives. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean that they automatically deserve a spot in our lives and just because we love them unconditionally doesn’t that we need to stay in constant contact.
Zoe / Unsplash
Zoe / Unsplash
“I have come to peace with the fact that I cannot do anything about the things that are and were out of my control. I now focus more on how I can improve myself in every aspect of my life and this only applies to things that are in my control.” – samisintrouble / Reddit
Energy is scared so think carefully before you spend it. Don’t waste it on what you can’t control, such as the actions of others, and focus on what is within your reach such as how you react to it and what you do about it.
“Haven’t. Still working towards that. I think it will be a constant thing”- HoneyGlazedCarrots
No one wakes up healed from trauma overnight and maybe no one ever truly and fully is able to let go of it. After all, trauma marks you forever. The difference in surviving it, is that the way it shaped you doesn’t have to be negative or triggering. It can just be the reason why today you’re stronger, wiser, and more connected to yourself and others.
Jakob Owens / Unsplash
Jakob Owens / Unsplash
In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it’s much more than that. If you want to know more about what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth HERE.
For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.
We can’t deny that the experiences we have as children shape who we become as adults. Not all children are blessed to have stable childhood where both parents are present, nurturing and attentive. Some parents actually are not deserving of the title at all and end up creating completely traumatizing experiences that their children don’t know how to let go of, not even as adults.
Yet some survivors of childhood trauma refuse to give up their happiness and their future because of their parents’ mistakes. Here is how they broke the cycle.
In a world that often celebrates assertiveness and the aggressive pursuit of personal goals, being…
This article contains affiliate links.There's no way to get through life without being dependent on…
This article contains affiliate links.Every family is going to have its disagreements. None are without…
This article may contain affiliate links.When leaving our homes, and especially when meeting new people,…
Relationships ending is never an easy thing. It's often painful to the point of grief,…
This article may contain affiliate links.When we think about narcissistic behavior, we automatically think about…