They say a mother will do anything for her children, even sacrifice her own life. After all, they once were a piece of her own body. But should there be limits to a mother's love?
The whole process of giving life is a gift that is still fascinating even though we scientifically understand it. The act of one body becoming two to make a human with their whole life ahead of them is a blessing. Unfortunately, not every woman who wishes for children is able to experience pregnancy. Nancy Hauck's daughter-in-law Cambria couldn't carry another pregnancy, so she decided to step in.
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Cambria had previously given birth to her own set of twins. The twin boys birth went smoothly when suddenly, two hours later, Cambria began experiencing "severe pain and cramping" and felt "gushes of blood." A doctor's examination revealed the devasting truth that she was she was hemorrhaging, meaning that she was losing a lot of blood in a short time.
Suddenly, the couple had to move forward with an emergency hysterectomy. This would mean losing the ability to have more children. The couple had always dreamed of having a big family: "That was a hard choice for us," recalls Cambria. However, with Cambria's life on the line, they felt the choice was clear.
Cambria and her husband Jeff thought they could use their stored embryos from past fertility treatments for another baby but ultimately decided not to.
The circumstances crushed the couple's dream of having a big family. This was not only a desire but a value that they had held their whole lives, thanks to their shared faith and experience with the church. The couple had been together since their senior year of high school and had held on to this dream until they felt like they could offer their children the life they deserved. Now that they were settled, they were unable to now have the children, and they were devasted:
"From the time I was a teenager, I knew that if I could only be one thing, I wanted to be a dad," says Jeff.
"We always had in our mind that we wanted four to six—whatever the Lord would bless us with, is what we would always say," adds Cambria.
Luckily the couple had a strong support system, especially in Jeff's mother, Nancy. Nancy understood the couple's need to have more children, so she felt like she could step in and make a generous proposal to carry one for them. She was aware of the risks, but felt this was a part of her purpose:
"I could just feel this calling to offer to carry for them," she explains: “I knew I was too old. I knew it wasn't going to be possible, even though that’s exactly what happened. I just felt I needed to tell them I would be willing to do it."
Cambria and Jeff were overjoyed with the offer. They didn't think it would be strange; they felt comforted that the baby would still be carried by family blood. "When Nancy came to us, I know most people would probably be like, 'Oh my gosh, that's crazy,’ but it didn’t feel like that," Cambria said: "There was just so much peace around the whole conversation and around the whole experience."
The next step in the process would be to determine if it was possible for Nancy's body to handle a pregnancy at her age without sacrificing her own health. Luckily doctors determined Nancy was "a good candidate" for carrying a baby as she was "healthy and capable."
The doctors thought it "unusual for a mother to carry her grandchild," yet they found that with Nancy, "age is really not the limiting" factor. What it came down to was her individual health. She was in great shape and defied the higher chance "to have more medical problems, such as diabetes or high blood pressure," associated with her age.
Everything seemed to fall smoothly into place. Just around the same time, Jeff got a new job with bigger pay, too: "It was just amazing when we would look at our account, and we're like, 'Oh my gosh, we have all the money we need for it,' " says Cambria.
When it came to naming the baby, grandma had a spiritual experience that inspired it. Jeff recalls "six days after the transfer when she got the positive pregnancy test," he says that his mother was "woken up in the middle of the night, and she heard a little voice that said, 'My name is Hannah.' "
Nancy called the experience "really special and spiritual" and was confident that the baby would be born a girl, even without testing it. The couple also eventually was convinced, especially after they learned that the name Nancy comes from Hannah. "They both mean grace."
The granddaughter and grandmother already felt connected, and the name felt fated. "I knew instantly that that was her name," adds Cambria.
Just like that Nancy became pregnant after an embryo transfer and became the gestational carrier for her son, and her daughter-in-law gave birth. After a healthy pregnancy that she shared with her daughter-in-law, she gave birth to a "perfect" baby girl named Hannah. "She is here, and my heart could explode," Cambria wrote on Instagram "She is perfect in every way."
Nancy's labor journey lasted 9 hours, with a healthy 7 pounds, 12 ounces baby at the end of it.
Cambria believes that this whole story was fated. Captioning pictures of the birth, she wrote that the day is now "sacred" for her: " It's not only Hannah’s birthday but also the last day of the 'day of the dead which is a holiday that celebrates ancestors that have passed on
She adds: " her ancestors on both sides had a HUGE part in getting her here. Not only that, but she was carried and brought into the world by her sweet nana, her ancestor. Nothing is a coincidence, and her birth date is not a coincidence either."
Cambria's perspective speaks on the cycle of life. Although the day of death is meant to celebrate those who have left us, it becamw about celebrating the new life that came.
The experience wasn't without hurdles. While Nancy felt blessed to be able to help her family and bring a child into it, she shares that she also was "facing new emotions of having a baby, but not bringing the baby home with me afterward."
She adds, "It is a mix of deep gratitude and some sadness from the separation." It might confuse Nancy that Hannah is her daughter and granddaughter, as she now shares that special connection with her.
Yet she says that the way she loves Hannah is the same way she loves all her grandchildren: "In my heart I want all of my grandkids to know that they're equally as loved," adds Nancy, "and I would've done it for any of them."
As for Hannah's new parents, they couldn't be happier. Reflecting back on the whole experience, Cambria writes: Her birth story was one for the books, it was so amazing and so spiritual. Words can't accurately describe the feeling that was there, but it is an experience I will cherish FOREVER! Nancy is AMAZING in every way and example of what it means to embody her divine role as a woman. I’m so grateful."
Jeff shared the sentiment that "we'll always have that connection — that Nancy carried her for nine months. Just the magic of the whole experience will always be unique in our eyes."
Nancy felt called to extend her role as a mother and grandmother and help her son ad his wife when they needed it the most. However, purpose looks different for everyone.
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