Ghost Marriages Are Happening In China, Here’s Why
When we think about marriages, the feelings they invoke are those of joy, love, and excitement. Marriages happen when we find someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with, a touching ceremony where we're surrounded by our favorite people; what's not to love?
Though marriage traditions vary around the world, love and life are at the core of all of them—well, most of them. There's one place where marriage takes on a whole new meaning where the dead are not only allowed but encouraged to get married.
A turn to the otherworldly can be more beneficial than you might think, especially if you're looking to take a glimpse into your future.
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Until The End Of Time
Marriage is one of the biggest events of someone's life. Being married means finding someone you want to dedicate your time, energy, effort, and love to, which is a big deal! It's a major commitment, a promise that you two will try your best to live a happy life together until death do you part.
In some cultures, though, death isn't the end of a marriage. It might even be the beginning. In rural Chinese provinces such as Shanxi, Shaanxi, and Henan, you'll hear plenty of stories of 'ghost marriages,' two people marrying each other after death or one living person marrying someone who's passed away.
A Peaceful Afterlife
The belief in an afterlife is extremely prevalent in China. Living relatives make regular offerings to the ghosts of their ancestors, believing it keeps their spirits happy and well cared for in the spiritual plane. Such offerings can include money, small houses, or servants, all made of paper so that they can be burned and released.
Wanting their loved ones to be happy in the afterlife also means looking at that person's relationships when they passed. If someone dies before they get married, people fear that they'll be eternally lonely in death.
Love After Life
This is where ghost marriages come in. If someone dies before their parents do, it's said that their parents will arrange a ghost marriage. This is done partially for their child's happiness, yes, but also because unhappy ghosts are believed to be more likely to come back and haunt their family.
The BBC reported on this phenomenon in 2016, citing that this practice was very popular for a while in Shanxi after many unmarried men lost their lives in the coal mining industry. In this case, finding these men wives was also a means of compensating for their tragic, young deaths.
A Bridge Between Worlds
Ghost marriages are most commonly between two people who have died, but not always. While two single ghosts getting married is certainly much easier, there have been cases of living women marrying dead men.
This is largely due to the way unmarried women are treated in these rural provinces. They're seen as outcasts, burdens upon their family who are meant to be shamed or shunned. Marrying a dead man still counts as a marriage, so it absolves her of her maligned status and earns her a place in her husband's family home without her actually needing a living husband.
Still Serious
There have also been cases of living men marrying dead women, though this is most commonly seen when the man's partner passes away, but he still wants to commit himself to her family.
Just because one or both parties are dead, that doesn't mean the marriages are random or inconsiderate. Many families will take great care to still ensure that their loved one is getting a fitting spouse. There are even spiritual matchmakers who will consult things like astrology to ensure that two spirits make a good pair before their family organizes a wedding.
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A Few Changes
But what does a ghost wedding actually look like? Surprisingly, they're very similar to a regular Chinese wedding, just with some added funeral elements. To replace the deceased person's presence, there will be a bamboo effigy dressed in traditional wedding attire, an effigy that will be burned after the ceremony.
The bride's family will provide a dowry of items like jewelry, servants, and a house, again all made of paper so they can be burned, much like the offerings mentioned earlier. If both parties are dead, the bride's body will be dug up and buried with the groom's afterward.
Dark Motivations
Though ghost marriages are usually respectful and agreed upon by both families, there are cases of people taking to graverobbing, kidnapping, or even murder in an effort to provide a female ghost bride.
There was a particularly dark case in 2016 where three men were arrested for killing two women with disabilities so they could sell their bodies as ghost brides. The men had reportedly convinced these women to come with them by promising that they would help find them grooms.
Love Pervails
This tradition is interesting, to say the least. It's something that most people outside of China have likely never considered before since so much of the way we view marriage is less about maintaining tradition and more about spending a life together with someone. There's definitely tradition involved, and marriage is still something that's expected from people societally, but it doesn't play so big a role that we feel it has to be present even in death.
Some people may find it strange, but if it comforts the families of people who've died, then there's nothing wrong with bringing more love into the spiritual world. Happiness for all is the goal here, and that's never a bad thing to want!
