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Marriage is set up to be this big, wonderful, extravagant day that's full of love and wonder. For some, it's just that, but there's also a lot of stress and planning that goes into marriage, too. Even without a big wedding, the road to and process of getting married seems increasingly complicated.
So much so that many couples are choosing to forgo getting married altogether, opting for a relationship that doesn't have any legal titles or contracts involved.
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Marriage, a once extremely common union to see between couples, has been on the decline. According to CNBC, almost 90% of the world's population lives in countries with falling marriage rates. In the United States alone, marriage rates have fallen by 60% since the 1970s, proving that younger generations aren't finding as much importance in marriage.
Why is that, though? What's changed? Someone asked online why people are getting married less these days, and these were some of the responses.
Two users blamed the internet for the decline in marriages. "Ease of access to hundreds if not thousands of people via social media driving indecisiveness. When you lived in a town or neighborhood with regular access to a handful of people I think people were less selective as to who they were willing to spend a lifetime with," wrote one.
"The internet has raised the general awareness of things among people. People have realized that they can do so much more in life than just get married and have kids," said another.
One user believed that marriage was largely a byproduct of the stigma around living with your partner. "Because there is no longer any shame in just living with your partner, it's perfectly normal. I’ve been doing that for almost 15 years, and we have no desire to bring marriage into it."
Speaking of stigma, another person attributed it to women breaking free of antiquated gender expectations, saying, "Because women don't have that as the ONLY career option to make sure they have food, clothing, and shelter for the rest of their lives."
Then, some shared their simple, blunt opinions on the matter. "Because marriage is overrated," wrote one user. "You don't need to spend thousands of bucks and involve the government to validate your relationship. Back in the 1950’s woman needed consent of their husband to do basic things like open a bank account. We don’t need husbands for that anymore. People like to break traditions and choose their own way and happiness."
Furthering the point that women having more right to choose is a key factor, another user added, "Because women have realized it's a raw deal having to work AND do most of the childcare, cleaning, cooking and emotional labor. Screw that."
Giving uniquely American perspectives, two others replied. "I'm in the US, it seems like millennial and Gen Z couples are living together earlier and earlier in their relationship(s), partially due to the increased cost of housing/living and maybe also due to a decrease in social constrictions. Living together is the best way to figure out whether or not you’re meant to get married."
Doubling down on the idea of a decline in social pressure, another person wrote, "In the USA, the relative benefits of marriage and the social pressure to get married have both decreased over the last several decades."
There's also someone's personal history to remember. "There are a lot of kids of divorce. It makes you really consider getting engaged as something important and not just a 'step' in your life."
Forgoing the emotional impact, the effects of a potential divorce could be more trouble than they're worth now. "Divorce lawyers are expensive. Getting married is expensive too. I took a class in college discussing how weddings are just a stupid social norm that's just another billion-dollar industry."
It seems that marriage itself isn't what's being frowned upon here, but rather the things surrounding marriage. The social expectations, the cost, the perceived necessity of it, these are all changing as the world around us has done, with some things no longer being held in such high regard as they once were.
Whether or not a decline in marriage is a good or bad thing is subjective, as it'll be a while before any long-term effects can be seen. No matter what the result, people should never be discouraged from doing what makes them happiest, whether that's a ring and church bells or a simple promise made to a partner.
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