Children Who Felt Ignored Growing Up Have These 8 Traits As Adults

How We Begin

Our childhood experiences shape who we are. Sometimes, that's for the better, with interests sparked in youth following us as passions into adulthood. Other times, it's for the worse, with other people's mistreatment of us having a great impact on the habits we develop as we grow.

This is especially true for children who felt overlooked when they were young. They develop complexes, fears, and anxieties that stick with them for years, even decades. Here are just some of the traits that people who felt ignored as children develop as adults.

1. Perfectionism

Adults who felt overlooked as children often develop a strong drive for perfectionism. This trait stems from a deep-seated belief that they must be flawless to be worthy of attention and love. They'll set impossibly high standards for themselves and others, no matter how unrealistic or downright unachievable. While perfectionism can lead to impressive achievements, it more often causes great levels of stress, anxiety, and exhaustion.

They may also struggle with feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure, as they believe that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. It was likely the only way they were able to get attention in their youth, a habit they carried with them into adulthood.

2. People-Pleasing

Another common trait among adults who felt overlooked as children is a tendency towards people-pleasing behavior. They often prioritize others' needs and desires above their own, fearing that asserting their own wants might lead to rejection or abandonment. They may struggle to say "no" and find themselves constantly seeking approval from others.

While being considerate of others is admirable, excessive people-pleasing can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of personal identity. A life of their own, a life they live for themselves, sounds like an impossible concept, so they let others run things instead.

3. Overachievement

Many adults who felt overlooked in childhood become overachievers, constantly pushing themselves to excel in various aspects of life. This drive stems from a deep-seated need to prove their worth and gain recognition. They may pursue multiple degrees, climb the corporate ladder rapidly, or take on numerous responsibilities in their personal lives.

While this trait can lead to impressive accomplishments, it can also result in chronic stress and burnout, never finding satisfaction in their successes. This trait goes hand in hand with perfectionism as both ramp up the person's anxiety without making them feel any happier once they've achieved what they set out to do.

4. Difficulty With Intimacy

Adults who felt overlooked as children may struggle with forming and maintaining intimate relationships. Their early experiences of emotional neglect can make it challenging to trust others and open up emotionally. They also tend to fear vulnerability or have difficulty expressing their needs, wants, and feelings, making for a tendency to keep others at arm's length.

Learning to trust others when you've been hurt so many times is tough, but what's also tough is accepting that there are people who don't want to hurt you. It's about learning that you can be loved, that you deserve to be loved, and that there are people who want to love you.

Don't let the remnants of your childhood trauma control your life forever, click here to take charge today and forge a happier future for yourself.

5. Hypersensitivity

Many adults who felt overlooked in childhood develop a heightened sensitivity to criticism, rejection, or even disappointment. They spent much of their early life feeling invisible, ignored, or disregarded, so anything that makes them feel the same way can put them in a panic. They may react strongly to even minor instances of perceived neglect or criticism, often interpreting neutral situations as negative.

This excessive sensitivity can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and intense emotional turmoil. There's something to be said for being in tune with other peoples' emotions, but hypersensitivity takes it too far.

6. Self-Doubt

Adults who felt overlooked as children often grapple with persistent self-doubt and a lack of confidence in their abilities, intelligence, and decisions. Their early experiences of being undervalued can lead to a deep-seated belief that their thoughts and opinions are not worthy of consideration.

This self-doubt can manifest in various ways, from second-guessing their every move to seeking constant validation from others. It often puts them in a vulnerable place where they'll be willing to put up with mistreatment if it means they sometimes get some kindness in return. This makes them prime targets for those looking to take advantage of someone.

7. Difficulty Expressing Needs

Many adults who felt overlooked in childhood have difficulty expressing their needs and desires. They were taught early on that their needs were not important or that expressing them would only lead to disappointment, sometimes even anger. As a result, they struggle to identify what they want or feel uncomfortable asserting themselves in various situations.

Of course, this leads to them constantly feeling emptiness, stress, or frustration as they live without any of their needs being met. Still, they consider that burden somehow less painful than actually sharing what they need from their loved ones.

8. Chronic Stress

Adults who felt overlooked as children often carry a significant burden of unresolved emotional stress from their early experiences. This chronic stress can manifest as physical symptoms (such as headaches, digestive issues, and muscle pain), anxiety, depression, or disillusionment. They feel constantly on edge, just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

This also means they tend to believe that any bad things that do happen are sometimes their fault. They feel responsible for everything, no matter how distant it is from them or any evidence that proves they're not the cause. Their anxiety stacks upon itself until it leads to total collapse.

How We End

Living with this mindset, this headspace, isn't easy. It impacts one's life multiple times a day, often leaving people feeling like they're missing out on life.

The good thing, though, is that this doesn't have to be forever. There are avenues for overcoming this type of pain, and there is a life beyond it! It takes a lot of work, often with a professional's help, but with the right outlook and a good support system, anything is possible. You are more than the pain you faced in your youth. You deserve to feel like it.