Can Men And Women Be Just Friends? Researchers Answer

Different Views

First, let's discuss how men and women see cross-sex friendships. Studies show that men and women approach these friendships differently, with men being more likely to become attracted to their female friends, no matter if he or his female friend is already in a relationship with someone else.

More recent research has also shown that the physical attractiveness of an opposite-sex friend predicts sexual interest in said friend more in men than in women, meaning that men are more likely to be attracted to their good-looking female friends versus women being attracted to their good-looking male friends.

Not Just Friends

Another layer to that research is that, for men, their current relationship satisfaction doesn't change how they feel about their female friends. For women, being happy in their current relationship makes them less likely to be attracted to their male friends.

None of this is really surprising, though. Women have been complaining about this phenomenon for ages. They try to simply become friends with someone, but more often than not find out that their "friend" has been harboring feelings for them the entire time, hiding their ulterior motives behind the friendship.

What's Important

This mindset even affects how men choose their friends. Another study showed that, while both sexes prioritize things like dependability and agreeableness in their friendships, men also prioritize the attractiveness of their female friends. For women, they also prioritized a man's ability to protect and provide for them.

So, this begs the question, are there cases where women covet or focus on their male friends' attractiveness? Yes, but only under a very specific circumstance.

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A Specific Type Of Woman

Women with psychopathic traits exhibit a pattern called 'partner poaching,' where they'll go after men who are already in relationships and try to lead them astray. They get more satisfaction out of stealing high-caliber men, meaning they'll often go after those who are successful, wealthy, or, yes, attractive.

That being said, the men they 'poach' tend to have the same psychopathic traits, which makes sense given that they're so willing to cheat on their partner. Birds of a feather, as they say.

Choose Your Friends

Now, how does this all impact our friendships and relationships going forward? Ultimately, it's up to your discretion. If your boyfriend has a female friend he's close to and you're worried about his feelings, have an open, honest conversation about your concerns. Don't accuse him of anything right away; just voice what you're thinking and gauge his response.

If you're a woman with male friends whose feelings you're also concerned about, do the same with them. Be upfront with your thoughts, worries, and boundaries, and make sure he knows you want to be just friends.

If he reacts poorly, then he was never worthy of your attention in the first place, friend or not.