Calling All Introverts, Here’s Exactly What You Should Say In Uncomfortable Situations

Find Common Ground

"Something in our environment that we can both relate to. You have to make it easy for them to give a response. Mild humor usually works as it is light-hearted and unthreatening." — ScallywagsTV2

If you're meeting a stranger then you're both likely in an environment outside your home, and that already is something you have in common. You can work your way up from there to find even more common ground such as mutual friends or interests to keep the conversation flowing naturally.

To Divert Attention

"Make an observation. Literally anything. It helps if it's something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be. It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention.

Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask. ... Let them do the talking. You learn some light-hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too. It works in literally any situation. From an elevator ride to a first date. It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable."— arrocknroll.

Let Them Do Talking

"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow-up questions to their answers usually does it." — I_Can_See_The_Music

Do you know what everyone's favorite topic is? Themselves. Talking about yourself feels good because self-disclosure produces a burst of activity in neural regions associated with pleasure, motivation, and reward. We tend to constantly feel like we're in a rush or like we have to impress so giving someone the space to be themselves and talk about what gets them going is likely to create feelings of trust and bonding towards you.

Most People Like Food

Fortunately, we all need food to survive, but for a lot of us, food is a lot more than a means for survival. We associate food with comfort and the experience of going to get food at restaurants with the human connection. Food can also be closely tied to the homes we grew up in, and the culture around food that formed our identities. We each have our signature dish that feels familiar and has a good memory.

" People typically love food. I mention I'm new/newer to an area. And ask them what they like, and where they eat out. Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks." — TheProfWife

A Compliment Never Hurts

"If it's a woman, I’d compliment them on something I like (bag/shoes/makeup/a book they’re reading) and then try to find common ground for there. For men, I’d try something neutral so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to hit on them. Perhaps weekend plans, work etc." — llovejoy1234

Giving compliments is actually mutually beneficial. Research shows that compliments often make the receivers feel better than one would think. But they actually have also been found to improve the mood of the compliment giver. It's an instant way to break the ice and make you both feel relaxed and accepted!

The Ford Formula

One Redditor came up with the Family/Occupation/Recreation/Dreams formula to help start a conversation organically.

"Family: Do they have kids? If so, people love to talk about their kids. How many, what ages, and what grades are they in in school? If they are older (High School/College) what are they studying? Do they play sports/music? If family is not a comfortable subject (you don't feel like asking about spouse and kids and such) then move on to Occupation

Occupation: What do they do for a living? How long? Do they like it? Did they go to school for it? How did they get into it?

Recreation: What do they like to do in their free time? Hobbies? What sports do they like to watch? Do they play any sports? Do they do anything active? Do they do anything artistic or musical?

Dreams: What are they currently looking forward to in life? Is there a big vacation coming up? Are the kids graduating from School? Are they training for a major athletic event (marathon or some other competition?" — khamylion

If All Else Fails...

When your mind goes blank and you really can't think of anything to say, there's always the weather. This works across all seasons and at all times of the day. While it may feel like a stale topic-starter, sometimes you just have to start somewhere and it can open the door to other ones.

" You can count on there always being some kind of weather. The weather is a good one. everyone shares it. " — Mr_Mojo_Risin

Being Introverted Doesn't Mean Being Isolated

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