9 Habits Of Highly Miserable People
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If you've been outside for any amount of time, you've likely met someone with a startlingly bad attitude. Whether they be rude, angry, or palpably sad, we often walk away from these interactions wondering how somebody got to that point. How did they become this way?
For many people stuck in this repeating cycle of negative feelings, they got to these ends by repeating certain bad habits that kept them stuck in their own pessimism, habits we can all fall into if we're not careful.
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Stopping The Spiraling
Everyone gets sad, that's no surprise, but there are some for whom this sadness permeates their entire life. It's not something that goes away, either. They live in their sadness and are often seen by others as miserable people.
While the initial cause of sadness can vary from person to person, there are certain habits that perpetuate this sadness, repeated patterns that do nothing to alleviate the pain they feel. By knowing these habits, we can avoid them much easier, preventing ourselves from being caught in that same cycle.
1. Always Expecting The Worst
One of the most prominent traits of miserable people is their relentless pessimism. Always expecting the worst to happen not only steals any joy away and immediately undermines any successes they may have, but it also hampers the potential for positive outcomes. Only focusing on negative outcomes also robs people of the motivation to pursue their goals, which only makes their pessimism worse once they see they're not making any progress in any direction.
It's very easy to fall into a spiral of pessimism, though, which is why it's important to challenge pessimistic thoughts as soon as they arise and before they get the chance to drag you down.
2. Refusing To Forgive
Forgiveness is not just about other people, it's also a gift you give to yourself. Those who refuse to forgive are often bound by their past, unable to think of a life outside of their hurt, and this baggage can be a heavy weight to carry. When we hold onto past hurts, we deny ourselves the opportunity to move forward and embrace new experiences free from anger and resentment.
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can free one from the chains of the past, opening the door to a better future and paving the way for happiness.
3. Avoiding Social Interaction
While everyone needs some alone time, excessive isolation is a common habit among miserable people. Avoiding social interactions can easily lead to loneliness and depression, even if you're an introverted, independent person. Engaging with others, sharing experiences, and enjoying company are important aspects of a balanced life. Being around others' energies can do wonders for the human spirit.
This doesn't always mean going out to big events and partying, either. Other people, friends especially, provide emotional support and can help manage stress or sadness. Building and maintaining healthy relationships is a key component of improving mental health and overall happiness.
4. Overthinking Problems
Miserable people often get stuck in their heads, overthinking situations and dwelling on problems far longer than they need to, a habit that can create unnecessary stress. Learning to take action and address issues directly can help break this cycle of worry and negativity. Instead of letting overthinking paralyze their thoughts and decisions, try adopting strategies such as mindfulness and focused problem-solving to manage thoughts more effectively.
The tendency to overthink can be debilitating, often leading to total inaction with added layers of anxiety. It is important to recognize when you are spiraling into overthinking and take steps to shift your focus towards more productive and positive activities.
5. Resists Change
Change is inevitable, but those who resist it often find themselves in a constant state of dissatisfaction. Embracing change can be liberating and often leads to opportunities for personal development. Staying flexible and adaptable is key to overcoming many of life's challenges. When we open ourselves to new experiences and accept that change is a natural part of life, we embrace a more fulfilling future, one that keeps a lot of stagnant sadness at bay.
The fear of change is a common obstacle that can prevent people from reaching their full potential. By embracing change and viewing it as an opportunity for growth, we can overcome this fear and experience a richer, more rewarding life.
6. Playing The Victim
Constantly playing the victim can be a trap that leads to a life of misery. Blaming others for one's problems directly prevents personal growth and self-improvement, as you immediately become blinded by rage directed at others. It prevents you from seeing where your issues truly stem from, meaning you can never deal with them and, thus, never change.
Taking responsibility for one's actions and decisions is empowering and is the first step towards a happier life. By shifting from a victim mentality to one of self-empowerment and forgiveness, you can take charge of your life and make meaningful changes that lead to greater happiness.
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7. Only Thinking Of Themselves
While self-care is important, an excessive focus on oneself can lead to a lack of empathy and connection with others. Helping others can bring a lot of joy and satisfaction into one's life, helping create meaningful relationships and a sense of community. By stepping outside of oneself and contributing to the well-being of others, selfish people can experience the rewarding feeling of making a positive impact, which in turn can diminish feelings of misery and isolation.
The benefits of altruism extend beyond the recipients of kindness because the givers also experience a boost in happiness and confidence. Engaging in acts of kindness and generosity can be a powerful antidote to feelings of sadness and self-absorption.
8. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
When people set unachievable goals, they set themselves up for disappointment. Realistic, achievable goals that still push you are what lead to long-term fulfillment. You want to challenge yourself, to see what you're capable of, but by only setting goals that you can't accomplish, you'll feel less and less motivated to try harder in the future. You need wins amidst the hard work to encourage yourself.
Setting unrealistic expectations can also become a bad habit or a pattern that leads to defeatist thinking. After all, if you only create disappointment for yourself, you'll come to expect it at every turn.
9. Only Complaining, Never Acting
Complaining without taking action is a habit that only perpetuates unhappiness. Complaining helps you address the issue, yes, but not doing anything after means the source of the complaint sticks around. By choosing to take proactive steps rather than remaining passive, you can make real, meaningful changes in your life, ridding yourself of the source of the complaint (or working to mitigate it).
The habit of complaining can be easy to fall into but is ultimately unproductive. Taking action, however small, can lead to significant changes and is a much more effective way to address problems in any area of your life.
Lending A Hand
It's worth remembering that people who live this way, the people you know who always seem to be miserable, don't want to be like this. They're often a victim of circumstance, dealing with or having dealt with so many issues in the past that they've built up, broken them, and left them hopeless.
When you can, try helping people who you see are like this by pushing them a little outside of their comfort zone or try gently encouraging them to put a positive spin on something. Sometimes, those stuck in a cycle of despair just need a helpful hand to pull them out.
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