8 Traits Of Someone Who’s Ugly On The Inside
We've all met someone who put on an amazing front. They were polite, kind, and maybe even a looker, someone who appealed to us in both appearance and personality. Unfortunately, sometimes, these people have such a good front because they're hiding plenty of darkness beneath the surface.
Someone could be the most attractive and socially intelligent person on Earth, but if they're ugly on the inside, it'll change your entire view of them.
A beautiful soul and beautiful life starts with empathy. You can learn greater empathy, you can even become an empath, you just need to open your eyes to it.
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On The Surface
We've all heard the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover." This age-old adage rings especially true when it comes to human nature. While someone's physical appearance may catch our eye, it's the inner qualities and values that truly define a person's character. Unfortunately, some people have traits that make them ugly on the inside, regardless of their outward appearance.
There are endless amounts of sour qualities someone might have, but here are just a few examples. If you're vigilant, you might notice a pattern within them.
1. Chronic Ingratitude
Chronic ingratitude is when someone never, ever appreciates the good in their lives. Not only do they miss out on the joy, love, and fun that can be found every day, but they also risk alienating those around them with their constant negativity. This focus on what's lacking rather than what's present only ever serves to ruin their own mood over and over again.
With this mindset, they may take for granted (or not recognize at all) the kindness put forth by their friends, the effort put into those relationships, and the connection they share with others. This leaves them feeling isolated and their friends feeling pushed away. Nobody wins.
2. Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude, the German term for deriving pleasure from another's misfortune, is a hallmark sign of inner ugliness. Those who revel in the failures or hardships of others reveal not only a lack of empathy, but deeply rooted insecurity as well, unable to find joy in their own lives so they instead let others' failures boost their mood.
People who exhibit schadenfreude also often struggle with their own sense of self-worth and use the misfortunes of others as a means of feeling superior. They'll often become so entrenched in it that it becomes a habit. They start seeking out tragedies, stories posted online for example, so they can get a little boost of confidence.
Don't let others' pain be what fuels you, let empathy lead you down a more powerful path instead. Click here to learn how.
3. Resenting Others' Success And Happiness
On the opposite side of the schadenfreude coin is the resentment of others' success. This impacts the person's relationships a lot more, even though it seems less outwardly mean because they become actively bitter when good things happen to their loved ones. They should be celebrating with their friends but are instead trapped in their own bitterness. And believe me, their friends can sense that bitterness.
They may also engage in other toxic nonsense like gossip, passive-aggressive criticism, or even attempts to undermine others' accomplishments. This kind of behavior only sabotages the person's life, for the more resentful they are, the less people will want to share future opportunities for joy with them.
4. Emotional Vampirism
Emotional vampires are people who constantly drain the emotional energy of those around them. They may seek attention, sympathy, or validation at the expense of others' well-being or take others' good times and find a way to turn them sour.
Being around people like this can be exhausting, for they immediately turn every interaction around to be about themselves. The topic can never solely be about someone else's life, achievements, or otherwise, they have to insert themselves and make everyone else focus on them, bringing down the energy of the group as a whole.
5. Extreme Pessimism
People who consistently and vocally expect the worst in every situation drain their own energy and that of the people around them. This persistent negativity can be contagious, spreading like a dark cloud over their relationships, hobbies, and life as a whole.
Extreme pessimists prefer to anticipate failure rather than risk disappointment. This mindset eventually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If they go into something thinking it'll go poorly, they won't put the effort in to help it go well, and when it does go poorly because of that, they'll think they're 'right' in their pessimism. It's a dangerous cycle that ultimately traps them in negativity.
6. Intellectual Arrogance
Intellectual arrogance appears in those who believe their intelligence is superior to all others, often dismissing any alternative viewpoints right away, automatically thinking them to be lesser. This stubbornness means they don't have the chance to engage in any meaningful conversations, and their relationships struggle as a result.
They may use their knowledge as a weapon, belittling others or putting them down based on their perceived lower intelligence. Little do these people know that, by shutting out any other perspectives, experiences, or opinions, they hinder their own intelligence by preventing themselves from learning. A closed mind may feel confident, but they know less than they think.
7. Moral Flexibility
Moral flexibility, or the willingness to adjust one's ethical standards to suit personal desires, is a lot more insidious than it may sound at first. Changing your opinions or values upon learning new information is normal and healthy even, but these types of people bend their moral compass to justify their (usually poor) actions, showing a lack of integrity in the process.
Those with moral flexibility also often struggle with cognitive dissonance, rationalizing their unethical behavior in order to maintain a positive self-image. This can make them overly defensive when someone confronts them about their ever-changing and self-serving principles.
8. Constant Complaining
We all love to complain sometimes; it's natural when things become frustrating, but some people can never shake the urge to complain about anything and everything. People who constantly focus on problems without seeking solutions not only perpetuate their own negativity but also demonstrate a lack of personal responsibility and initiative.
Chronic complainers often use their grievances as a means of seeking attention or avoiding accountability. They want someone to understand how bad they feel, to be in those same feelings with them. They also usually struggle with feelings of powerlessness in life and lose hope in being able to change anything.
Best For Everybody
The pattern in all of these traits, though, and it's that they're often born of pain. Nobody wants to be ugly inside, and nobody wants to behave like this. They're defense responses that help us cope with struggle, even if that way of coping really isn't the healthiest or happiest. Anything to temporarily diffuse the pain of living with trauma, hardship, or sorrow.
As we strive to become better versions of ourselves, the benefits can extend beyond our own lives. We can create a ripple effect of positivity and kindness in our communities. By addressing our own inner ugliness and encouraging others to do the same, we contribute to a more compassionate and understanding world.
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