8 Signs That Someone You Know Is A Pathological Liar

Finding The Truth

We all have a threshold for lies. There's only so much we're willing to take before we have to put our foot down and uncover the truth, but how can we do that when we're against someone who only lies?

Spotting a pathological liar isn't always easy, but once you've got them pinned, their lies start to unravel, and you'll finally see the truth be revealed before your very eyes. Here are a few ways you can spot a pathological liar in your life.

1. Their Stories Feel Too Perfect

Pathological liars often tell tales that sound almost too good to be true. In their stories, every detail falls into place in a way that feels scripted or exaggerated, as if they've rehearsed what to say. They're likely conveniently painted as the hero or victim, a position that grants them a favor.

While occasional flair in storytelling is normal, this constant overdramatization can start to seem unrealistic. Real experiences are messy, nuanced, and sometimes just boring. If their version always feels a little too polished or serves their interests too neatly, it’s worth questioning why.

2. They Have Trouble Keeping Track Of Past Lies

Telling a web of lies can make it difficult to keep track of all the details, leading to some questionable contradictions over time. Pathological liars might forget what they've said before and be unintentionally inconsistent when re-regaling these stories.

This doesn’t always mean they’re being directly manipulative; sometimes, people just forget the finer details of things. But if this happens repeatedly, it’s a sign that these tales aren't grounded in truth. You might also notice them growing frustrated when asked to clarify details and scrambling to maintain the narrative they've built.

3. They Get Defensive When Questioned

Speaking of, when asked about discrepancies in their stories, a pathological liar may respond with deflection, anger, or accusations. Instead of actually addressing your question, they're more likely to change the subject, shift the blame, or make you feel guilty for even asking. They might ask why you don't trust them or accuse you of being overly suspicious.

This type of reaction is meant to serve as a distraction, pulling focus away from the lie and instead turning it back on you. Defensiveness is a common human reaction, but it becomes concerning when it happens consistently in response to honest, well-meaning questions.

4. They Embellish The Ordinary

Pathological liars often turn simple events into elaborate stories. They might add unnecessary drama, exaggerate their role, or create details that make their story stand out and seem less ordinary. Instead of saying they had a casual lunch with a friend, they might describe it as a life-changing encounter filled with many shocking coincidences.

These exaggerations are harmless at first, but if they do it enough, you might start to feel skeptical about everything they share. Turning a standard story into something larger-than-life also points to someone who needs constant validation in the form of people fawning over their so-told incredible life.

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5. They Struggle With Honesty When Confronted

When confronted, not just questioned, about their lies, pathological liars rarely take accountability. They'll sooner double down, deny everything, or create new lies to cover their tracks. This reaction often includes a lack of empathy for how their behavior affects others, dismissing your concerns by saying, "It's not a big deal," or attempting to gaslight you into believing you misunderstood what they said.

They're fully unable (or unwilling) to accept that their lies do damage. Rather than apologizing or working to rebuild trust, they'll focus solely on protecting their image. Their defensiveness and evasion often reflect deeper issues, too, like a fear of vulnerability or an inability to process guilt.

6. Their Lies Seem Pointless At Times

One of the most confusing traits of pathological lying is that many of their lies seem wholly unnecessary. They might lie about things that have no real consequence, like what they ate for breakfast or how they spent their weekend, but these "small lies" can make you question their motives. After all, why lie when the truth would work just as well?

This habit of theirs likely stems from a deeper compulsion to lie rather than a calculated attempt to deceive you. Over time, though, even minor lies can wear away at trust, making you begin to doubt everything they say.

7. Their Relationships Often Have Trust Issues

Pathological lying creates tension, suspicion, and mistrust in relationships. Loved ones may grow frustrated or disillusioned by the constant, pointless lying, even if that lying doesn't directly affect the relationship (see the previous point). While not every strained relationship is due to lying, a pattern of trust issues can be a telling sign.

If someone has a history of broken friendships, failed relationships, or ongoing conflicts, especially if they speak about these relationships in a way that always paints them as victims, there might be a common issue that they're hiding—or, ironically, lying about.

8. They Rely Heavily On Excuses

When a pathological liar's stories begin to fall apart, they often turn to excuses to cover their tracks. Instead of admitting the truth, they'll invent new lies or pin the blame on someone else. For example, they might claim they lied to protect someone’s feelings or that they were misunderstood and weren't actually lying.

This behavior keeps them from fully facing the consequences of their actions, leaving others feeling confused at best and frustrated at worst. Over time, their excuses may become so frequent and elaborate that it’s hard to tell what’s real.

Ending The Lies

If you suspect someone in your life is a pathological liar, be cautious in your approach. Not because they're dangerous or anything, but because this behavior doesn't come from a healthy place, and they likely lie so much due to some other inner struggle or even trauma from their past.

While it's natural to want to help, remember to prioritize your well-being too. Set boundaries, be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate, and consider encouraging them to seek professional support. Pathological lying can be a difficult habit to break, but with the right help, healing is possible for both them and you.

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