8 Phrases Love-Bombers Use To Manipulate Their Victims
Love should be an honest emotion. It should be something that people express only when they mean it, as it's a very powerful thing. Love can change us, can shape us, and can make us do the craziest things, but it's still no excuse for the evil some people can do with it.
Love-bombers are just one example of people who use love for evil, taking an otherwise sacred feeling and twisting it for their own gain. How can you spot them? By listening to what they tell you.
We all contain dark parts in our souls, parts we shouldn't shy away from, scary as they may be. Only by facing the darkness can we learn from it, grow away from it, and eventually dispel it entirely.
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Building You Up
In the world of relationships, love-bombing is a term that has gained a lot of attention in recent years. It refers to the practice of overwhelming someone with affection, attention, and gifts right at the start of a relationship as a means of gaining control over them. It's designed to feel flattering and special, but is anything but.
The only way to protect yourself from a love bomber is by spotting them before the damage is done, so here are some very common phrases or angles love bombers take to get into their victims' heads.
"You're The Most Amazing Person I've Ever Met."
One of the first things a love-bomber will tell you is how extraordinary you are. They'll shower you with compliments, making you feel like you're the most incredible person they've ever met. While it's true that you are extraordinary, you still have to be cautious when someone comes on too strong, too quickly.
They go so heavy with the compliments so you won't want them to leave, as then you'll be without this steady stream of compliments and validation. It’s important to remember that genuine admiration develops over time and is based on truly knowing someone, not formed immediately after meeting someone new.
"We're Soulmates."
Love-bombers often use the concept of soulmates to create a sense of destiny and inevitability in the relationship. They will tell you that you are meant to be together, reinforcing the idea that your connection is unique and fated.
While the idea of soulmates is romantic, you have to approach it with caution. Remember that a healthy relationship is built on mutual understanding, respect, and shared values rather than a predetermined destiny. They tell you these things because they want you to think of them as someone who has to be in your life. You're destined, after all, so surely you can't break up, right?
"I Can't Imagine My Life Without You."
This phrase is designed to make you feel indispensable to the love-bomber’s happiness. They'll tell you that their life is incomplete without you or that they don't know what they'd do without you, creating a sense of obligation and responsibility for their well-being.
While it’s natural to want to be a big part of your partner’s life, it’s also important to maintain your independence. A healthy relationship allows both partners to thrive as individuals while supporting each other, not being a cure for all their woes. Someone else's happiness is never your responsibility, only your own.
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"You're Perfect."
Another tactic used by love-bombers is idealizing their target. They'll tell you that you're perfect, that they don’t see any flaws in you, you can do no wrong, or any other compliment that paints an unrealistic and idealized image of you.
This excessive praise is meant to make you feel special, but it also gives them a "reason" to get angry at you when you inevitably do something they don't like. No one is perfect; we all make mistakes, and a love bomber pretending otherwise puts so much undue pressure on you that you're bound to crack, which is what they want.
"I Would Do Anything For You."
This phrase, though it seems well-meaning and can certainly make you feel loved, creates an unbalanced dynamic that love-bombers use to their advantage. They not only do it to make you feel more secure in the relationship but also so they can eventually turn the tables on you.
As soon as they suggest something you're not comfortable with, they'll throw a 'but I would do anything for you' right back at you, guilting you into giving into their demand. It's an unacceptable and manipulative way of getting you to do what they want; danger masked as kindness.
"We Don't Need Anyone Else."
Love bombers often try to isolate their target from friends and family. They'll tell you that you don’t need anyone else, that they can be everything you need, that it’s just the two of you against the world. It's framed as romantic, a pledge to your love and devotion, but really, it's meant to lessen your trust in other people.
Having a strong, dependable bond with your partner is what you should strive for in a relationship, but not to the point where you feel like other people are 'getting in the way' of your love, something a love-bomber will start to claim once they've planted these doubtful thoughts in your mind.
"I Want To Spend Every Moment With You."
Love-bombers often push for rapid progression of the relationship, jumping to big milestones very early on. They'll say they want to spend every moment with you and may even suggest moving in together rather quickly.
This is another tactic designed to create a dependency. If they rush you into big commitments, you're more likely to stay, not wanting to waste anything or admit a mistake was made. Not to mention that being in the same space gives them more opportunity and access to manipulate you further in the future.
"I Can't Wait For Our Future Together."
An extension of the previous point, love-bombers often talk about the future very early in the relationship. They'll express fervent excitement about building a future together, even starting to make plans without your input.
Of course, as with the previous entry as well, relationships are meant to build slowly over time. By creating a sense of urgency about how you're progressing and wanting big chapters to start soon, they trap you in early and make it all the much harder to leave should things go south.
The Importance Of Time
Love-bombing is a tactic designed to create the illusion of a perfect relationship while constantly undermining it by manipulating the other person. By recognizing the key phrases and behaviors associated with love-bombing, you can protect yourself from falling into a potentially harmful situation.
Remember that a healthy relationship is built on mutual understanding, respect, genuine admiration, and, most of all, time. Take the time to get to know your partner, to understand what they like, what gels and what doesn't between you two. The more time you take, the more secure (and happier) you'll be down the line.
