6 Things Men Want From Their Girlfriends But Will Never Say Outloud
It's not uncommon for someone to change parts of themselves for a relationship. This isn't always a bad thing, like curbing a behavior that a partner has said makes them uncomfortable, but often it's a case of us bullying ourselves, forcing ourselves into boxes we think we need to fill to keep our significant other happy.
While this is true of all people, men, in particular, are the least likely to talk about this phenomenon. They keep a lot bottled up inside, including their true desires, for fear of being seen as less of a man.
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Beneath The Surface
Have you ever wondered what goes on in the depths of a man's heart? Behind the tough exterior and stoic demeanor, there's a world of unspoken desires and needs that men often keep hidden from their partners.
Society has conditioned men to believe that expressing certain emotions or desires is a sign of weakness, leading them to bottle up their true feelings. Here, we'll look at the secret wishes and vulnerabilities that men harbor but are often too afraid to voice.
1. Emotional Understanding
Men often crave a safe space where they can express their feelings without fear of judgment. They want their partners to listen and understand their emotions without immediately trying to fix the problem, criticizing their reactions, or trying to dismiss their pain.
There's a lot of societal pressure for men to always appear strong and in control, but deep down, they just want to feel that it's okay to be vulnerable and that their partner will be there to support them through their emotional ups and downs.
2. Appreciation For Their Efforts
Men often secretly yearn for acknowledgment and appreciation of their efforts in the relationship. While they may not openly ask for praise, receiving recognition for their actions, both big and small, does wonders for their confidence and motivation.
This is especially true at the beginning of a relationship. Just like you, they're feeling things out and testing the waters. Reassuring them of the things they've done that you enjoyed will help them feel not only more comfortable with you but will also encourage better communication overall!
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3. Physical Intimacy Beyond Sex
Contrary to popular belief, men crave physical affection that goes beyond just sex. Though stereotypes try to convince people otherwise, men do also want hugs, cuddles, and other small physical gestures that signify comfort or closeness.
This need for physical closeness is often overlooked, as society tends to focus on men's sexual desires rather than their need for emotional intimacy. Men want to feel physically connected to their partners in ways that don't always lead to sex. Even something as simple as a hand on their back while they're working on something can do wonders.
4. Freedom To Pursue Interests Without Guilt
Men often struggle with balancing their personal interests and relationship responsibilities, sometimes feeling guilty or like they're neglecting their partner in favor of a passion. This is especially true if these passions have been mocked in the past, making them feel ashamed or embarrassed.
Encouraging men to pursue their interests can actually strengthen your relationship. When men feel supported in their personal endeavors, they're more likely to return to the relationship feeling fulfilled and energized. The happiness a man feels when he gets to explore what he loves while being supported by those he loves is unmatched.
5. Validation Of Their Role
Despite the social advancements we've seen in the past few decades, many men still grapple with traditional notions of masculinity. They either believe they're not 'man enough,' or they wish to be less traditionally masculine but fear they won't be supported.
There are still so many pressures and expectations placed on men to be providers, protectors, and leaders. Men need to be reminded that they're enough as they are, that they don't need to fit into society's strict definitions to be considered a 'real' man, and that they don't need to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders to be a good partner.
6. True Emotional Depth
Contrary to the stereotype of men avoiding deep topics, many secretly crave emotional intimacy and meaningful conversations with their partners. They want to share their thoughts, dreams, and fears about life and the future.
This desire for emotional depth often goes unexpressed due to fears of appearing vulnerable, weak, or being misunderstood. Men want to feel that they can open up about their innermost thoughts and be met with understanding from their partner, not shock or disgust that they're feeling insecure about something.
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Their Softer Side
Everyone faces some kind of insecurity in relationships. It's hard not to! When you care about something and someone that much, it only makes sense that you worry about being the best partner you can be for them. For men, though, they face a unique set of insecurities that are imposed upon them by society, namely from other men.
The throughline for all of these secret desires is simply seeing men as more than an unmoving rock, more than a strong, emotionless champion of security. Men get scared, men want to be treated gently, and men want to have someone in their corner they can lean on when they need help. You can be that person for them.
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