6 Signs That You’re Hung Up On A Fantasy Version Of Your Relationship

1. You're Always Thinking About What 'Could Be'

Sometimes we get into a relationship because we like the idea of a person more than we like the actual person. It's hard to notice in the moment, as those two things can be similar in our minds, but the longer it goes, the more obvious it becomes.

If you're constantly thinking about the type of person your partner could be, ways they could treat you differently or change so that you'd feel happier, more secure, more loved, whatever your desire is, then you're not really in love with them. You're just sticking around, hoping they make these magical changes that will never come.

2. You're Always Thinking About How Things 'Were'

Sometimes a relationship starts off amazingly, it's everything you could have dreamed of and more, but once that honeymoon phase ends and you settle into the realities of a long-term commitment, you might see a different side of this person you hadn't been expecting.

This can lead to you lamenting about how things used to be, especially about the way your partner used to behave. Maybe they used to be more thoughtful, more attentive, more passionate. Whatever the case, you can only feel love for them when you're thinking about this past version of themselves, while having fallen out of love with their current state.

3. You Over-Explain Relationship Issues

When talking to friends or family about how your relationship is going, you immediately get your back up. "I know how this sounds, but-" is a common starter before you roll into a complaint or a worry you have. You know that your partner's behavior seems terrible, and the people you speak to agree. Why are you being so defensive?

It's common that people will write off minor relationship troubles as they don't outweigh the positives and it often isn't something worth arguing about, but when you start to do this often with full knowledge that something is wrong, then it becomes worth examining.

4. You Ward Off Unhappiness With Reason

The sense of unhappiness and discontent you feel seems overwhelming. It's constant, and you can never fully alleviate yourself from it. All it does is gnaw away at your consciousness, and yet you still try to use reason to combat it.

You're often talking yourself down from any real strong feelings of sadness or regret when thinking of your partner because... well, it can be a number of reasons. Breakups are scary, let alone divorces if you two are married, and thinking of a life without your long-term partner in it is tough. Those fears aren't worth subduing your happiness, though. Not now, not ever.

5. You're Working Harder Than Your Partner

In an unbalanced or rocky relationship, there's always one person who seems to be investing way more time and effort into keeping things afloat, and you've found yourself in that role. Your partner doesn't seem to want to engage at all, even though you're changing yourself to suit them better every day.

Maybe they do promise to change, after ages of you bringing up issues you're having, but once they do, it's not what you wanted and it's fleeting. They don't commit to promises they make and once again leave you stranded emotionally.

6. You Make Excuses For Your Partner

This sign is similar to over-explaining your partner's issues, but you're taking it one step further by actively making excuses. Just brushing it off as 'not a big deal' doesn't cut it anymore, you have to go into why your partner does the things they do as if that absolves them, blaming either yourself or their past as a means of explaining.

Here's the thing, even if your partner has suffered some sort of trauma in their life that causes them to behave the way they do, that doesn't make it okay. They're still hurting you in some capacity, and that's all that matters in the moment.

Better Not Together

Facing the reality of being stuck in an unhappy relationship is heartbreaking. These signs aren't dished out lightly, but in order to feel that happiness of a healthy and loving relationship, you need to be willing to accept that you won't find it in your current partner, especially if they seem unwilling to work on things alongside you.

Once you've snapped out of the fantasy and awakened to the reality of the situation, this is when you lean on others to help. It's not easy, but you do deserve better, and there is better to be found beyond the horizon.

You may even find your destined soulmate on that horizon, but it'll take some work to get there, work that can be alleviated by consulting an expert.

Using ancient divination arts, the people over at Soulmate Reading can not only determine what your general future in love will be like, but will also give you helpful tips for finding your perfect soulmate. Click here to get started and see all that you can learn!