6 Reasons Why Narcissists Target Strong Women
For many young women, confidence is their dream. To be able to walk out into the world so sure of yourself and your talents that you're rarely scared, phased, or belittled by others. It takes a lot of work to get here, but it is possible! And well worth the fight!
Unfortunately, though, there are those who will seek out these confident women with the hopes of tearing them back down, with the main perpetrator of that behavior being narcissists.
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Fatal Attraction
Any woman who ever had to suffer through a relationship with a narcissist knows how awful it is. It drains the soul, it erodes the mind, and it can ruin any sense of confidence a woman once had. Many victims of narcissists believe it to be their own fault somehow. They think of themselves as weak, unintelligent, or unaware for not having noticed what was going on.
The truth is that there's a chance the narcissist picked them as a target because they're a strong woman. But why do narcissists gravitate toward those types?
1. They Like A Challenge
Narcissists are constantly in awe of their own capabilities and will play games in order to prove to themselves that they are smart, powerful, and better. These games can include purposefully picking women who are strong and sure of themselves as they know that a target like that will be harder to take down.
If they succeed in controlling her, it reinforces their beliefs. If they fail, they find a way to blame the woman. They win no matter what.
2. They Feel 'Safe'
Narcissists know they exist on the fringes, and that their social status is precarious at best, which is why strong women can offer a sort of comfort or safety net for them. Strong women tend to not only have successful, powerful jobs, but they're also beloved in their communities. Being with someone that well-liked means there's always a buffer for the narcissist's bad behavior.
There's a mitigated risk of being an outcast when partnered to or close with a strong, respected woman, and a narcissist craves that stability.
3. They're Envious
Deep down, narcissists act the way they do because they're insecure. They artificially inflate their own ego to make up for their misgivings. That means when they see a woman who's genuinely strong, who built herself up confidently and lets the world know it, they feel very, very jealous.
They then react to that jealously by getting defensive and vengeful, vowing to knock that woman down a peg. Their own insecurities make them want to ruin everyone around them so they don't feel as bad.
4. They're Jealous
This sounds similar to the last point, but the angle is different. Envy is when the narcissist dislikes the woman's strength, jealousy is when they can't stand the woman getting attention or compliments. They believe they're the only ones deserving of that kind of praise, so they'll do what they can to take over that woman's role, status, or standing.
They're two sides of the same coin, but can drastically change the narcissist's approach and tactics when worming their way into the strong woman's life.
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5. They Need To Feel Worthy
Narcissists are secretly very afraid of being rejected, turned down, or thought of as lesser in any respect. They overstate their accomplishments to ensure that someone will always want them on their team, to make sure that they're always desired or respected (or feared, sometimes).
This is why they'll sometimes take partners who are of similar caliber (if jealousy doesn't get to them first). They believe that any praise their partner gets also reflects on them since they were 'smart enough to pick such a high-quality girlfriend.'
6 .They'll Stick Around Longer
To put it plainly, strong women can put up with more crap than others, meaning they're more likely to be able to handle a narcissist's subtle insults and put-downs longer than others would. They don't immediately crack under the force and might even feel a need to prove that they aren't affected by the narcissist's behavior.
This, of course, only encourages the narcissist further. They're happy to play the long game if it means their target will remain in their life and not ruin their fun.
Coming Back Stronger
The level at which a narcissist operates is incomprehensible to most, not because they're smarter, but because their motivations are far from that of the average person. They're so focused on themselves that everything they do has to circle back to them, it all has to service them. That's why they're very deliberate about the people they spend time with.
If you've ever been the target of narcissistic behavior, know that it was your strength and confidence that attracted them, and you can get that strength back. Unlike the narcissist, your best qualities are genuine, and that strength remains within you.
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