6 Of The Worst Things You Can Do To A Loved One With Anxiety

Loving At Our Best

Loving someone with anxiety can be a beautiful and fulfilling experience, but it's also one that requires patience, empathy, and understanding. Anxiety is often invisible, and it's extremely complex, influencing how someone thinks, feels, and interacts with the world at all times.

Understanding what not to do when supporting your anxious partner can make a world of difference in helping them feel safe, understood, and loved, so here are seven things to avoid when navigating love with someone who struggles with anxiety

1. Dismissing Their Anxiety

When someone you care about is feeling anxious, it's tempting to respond with quick reassurances like "It’s not that bad" or telling them to “just relax.” While these comments come from a good place, they can inadvertently make your partner feel misunderstood. Anxiety isn’t always rational, and telling them to “just stop worrying” invalidates how hard anxiety is to control.

You don’t have to fully understand their fear to acknowledge it’s real for them. Try saying something like, “I can see this is really hard for you” or “I’m here for you, no matter what" instead to let them know you'll support them through whatever it is they're feeling.

2. Pushing Them Too Soon

It's natural to want your partner to overcome their anxiety, especially if it’s holding them back from enjoying life, but encouraging them to confront their fears before they’re ready can do more harm than good. Anxiety often involves deep-seated fears or worries that require time, care, and patience to work through. It's not as easy as just facing things head-on.

Instead of pushing them into uncomfortable situations, work with them to create a gradual, supportive plan. Ask what would make the facing of this dear easier for them, or if there's a smaller first step you can take together. Respect their boundaries and let them set the pace.

3. Treating Their Anxiety As A Problem You Need To Solve

When your partner is struggling with anxiety, it's easy to jump into "problem-solving mode." You might offer advice, pitch solutions, or try to fix the situation, but anxiety isn’t a problem that can be solved with logic alone. Often, your partner doesn’t even need answers in the moment. They need your presence and understanding.

Instead of your first thought being how you can solve whatever's happening, try asking how you can support them or if they just need a listening ear. Sometimes, just offering a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on is the most meaningful thing you can do.

4. Taking Their Struggles Personally

Anxiety often causes people to retreat inward, seeming like they're pulling back or shutting themselves off, not because they’re upset with you, but because they’re overwhelmed by their own thoughts and feelings. Though it's tough, you have to learn what those warning signs look like and not take their withdrawal personally.

Instead, approach with care. Say you've noticed their change in behavior and how you're simply wondering if they're alright. Remind them you're always there for them and happy to listen should they need it. By giving them the space they need and showing patience, you’re reinforcing that your love is dependable, even when life gets hard.

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5. Underestimating Small Gestures

Grand romantic gestures are wonderful, of course, but for someone with anxiety, it's often the small, consistent acts of care that mean the most. A text saying "Thinking of you" or offering to help with a task they’ve been too anxious to handle on their own can be incredibly meaningful.

These gestures show that you’re paying attention to their needs and willing to ease their burden in actually thoughtful ways. Not only that, but it shows that you've been on their mind, and that you've been thinking about them kindly. Both of these can do a lot in the way of reassuring your partner that their anxiety won't stop your love for them.

6. Neglecting To Care For Yourself

Supporting someone with anxiety can be deeply rewarding, getting to see them open up more with time and watching them overcome fears, but it can also be emotionally demanding if you're not taking care of yourself. If you’re constantly focused on their needs, you may find yourself feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even anxious yourself.

Their mental health isn't the only one that matters, a statement the anxious party would certainly agree with! Remember that a healthy relationship is a two-way street, and while you might feel you need to care for them more, your peace of mind is just as important as theirs.

The Power Of Love

Loving someone with anxiety requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to adapt. It's not about walking on eggshells or avoiding certain things, but about learning how to navigate them as a team instead. It's a feeling born from adoration for the person you're with, not fear of saying or doing something wrong.

Love isn’t about fixing someone else’s problems or making them into a better person. It's also not about changing yourself to fit their shape. It’s about being there for them, exactly as they are, and growing together.

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