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The aspects and perspectives that make up our personalities are wholly unique to us. They're the byproducts of our upbringing, the result of years, decades of development that have come together to create the whole of you. It's beautiful, and though not every quality may be one you love, it's something to be appreciative of.
Unfortunately, sometimes those years spent working on yourself draw in a few unsavory people, ones to aim to hurt you. You shouldn't change yourself for them, but being aware of what attracts them can help you see them coming before they get their claws in.
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It's commonly believed that the energy you put out into the world will return to you in some way. If you're always negative and sour, you'll have worse luck, and vice versa. We reap what we sow and all that. This line of thinking also applies to the people in our lives, without energies or vibes attracting certain personality types.
Though, with people, it's more complicated than simply 'be good and good things will happen.' Sometimes, it's our best qualities that attract the worst people, the narcissists of the world who want to take advantage of us. There are a number of traits that narcissists seek out, here are just a few.
Empathetic people prioritize understanding and supporting others, putting their own needs aside in the process. This selflessness can make them appealing targets for narcissists, who thrive on unending attention and admiration. Narcissists are drawn to empaths because they see them as a ready source of constant validation and emotional support.
Unfortunately, this dynamic often leads to a one-sided relationship where the empathetic person constantly gives while receiving little in return. That's why it's essential for empathetic people to establish healthy boundaries and recognize when someone is taking advantage of their kindness. By practicing self-awareness and assertiveness, they can protect themselves from falling into harmful relationships where they're only ever taken advantage of.
People who are well acquainted with stress, either due to a high-strung lifestyle or from the lingering effects of trauma, may inadvertently attract narcissists due to their tendency to prioritize managing crises over asserting boundaries. Constant exposure to stress can desensitize someone to unhealthy dynamics, making them more tolerant of narcissistic behavior. Additionally, someone who's stressed out may seek validation and stability from others, making them susceptible to the superficial charm of narcissists.
To break this cycle, those who have grown used to constant stress need to recognize their worth and learn to prioritize their well-being over accommodating anyone else. Developing healthy coping mechanisms and seeking support from friends they know care about them can help them avoid simply 'getting used' to a toxic relationship in their life.
Those who crave challenge and excitement may unknowingly attract narcissists due to their adventurous nature and openness to new experiences. Narcissists are often charismatic and skilled at portraying themselves as thrilling companions, making them appealing to your regular thrill-seeker. Also, people who are drawn to challenges and competition may overlook red flags in favor of the adrenaline rush that comes with engaging with narcissistic personalities.
The thrill of the chase and the allure of unraveling the complexities of a narcissist's persona can be enticing for those who crave excitement, sure, but it's still important to remain vigilant, recognizing when someone's charm masks manipulative behaviors. They must remain very self-aware, calling out any red flags so they can channel their adventurous spirit into healthy, fulfilling relationships that enhance their lives rather than drain them.
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Success can often attract narcissists due to the perceived benefits they can gain from associating with accomplished individuals, seeking to align themselves with those who possess status, wealth, or influence. Narcissists may view successful individuals as a means to elevate their own social standing, gaining access to resources and opportunities they wouldn't have otherwise. It's less about controlling that one person and more about wringing them dry of everything they can provide.
Successful people need to be discerning in their relationships and need to be able to recognize when someone's interest is genuine versus when it's fueled by ulterior motives. Being so guarded can be tough sometimes, but so long as they have a few close people they can confide in, successful people can ward themselves against those wanting to take advantage.
Being a people-pleaser can make someone susceptible to narcissistic manipulation due to their tendency to prioritize other people as a whole over themselves. Preferences, problems, needs, wants, they only think of others. Narcissists are skilled at identifying and capitalizing on vulnerabilities, so they often target those who are eager to please and avoid conflict.
Additionally, people-pleasers may struggle to assert boundaries or recognize manipulative behavior, making them easy targets for narcissists who want to exploit their kindness. People-pleasers need to learn how to recognize their worth and build their confidence, which will help them build defending walls that will keep narcissists away. Learning to say no and think of their own sanity can make a world of difference.
It's important to remember that none of these traits are guarantees that you'll have a narcissist come into your life, nor should you stifle these qualities just to avoid that possibility. You're a beautiful, unique, fully realized person who should never feel pressured to change in order to fit what other people want from you.
The best way to counteract or deter any narcissist encroaching on your space is to be unshakably confident. Be unafraid to speak your mind, call out red flags when you see them, and stand your ground. Those are the traits that will get you far as well as keep you safe.
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