Women Are Happiest Alone And Childless, According to Experts
What makes you happiest in life? Maybe you love your job, or your family, or you have a particular passion that's always motivating you. Maybe you love nature, your home, art, or spending time with your friends. It's incredible how many things there are that can generate the same feelings in us despite being so wildly different from one another.
There are some things that do this better than others, and certain lives that do generate more happiness than some. Many experts believe they now know why.
If you're struggling to find that thing that makes you happy and are lost on where to even begin, you're probably facing some limiting beliefs that keep you from flying without even realizing it.
You can fight this reality and take that first step toward a better life by listening to this free audio. That's right, all it takes is 20 minutes to start shifting into the right gear and barreling toward a better future. Click here to kick start your life today!
Our Personal Joys
The question of what makes a truly happy life is subjective. We all have different tastes, preferences, joys, passions, and the like, meaning we have different things that spark joy in our hearts.
There are, however, some lifestyles in particular that are socially seen as more rewarding. The path we see touted in media and by those around us is that we will all eventually get married and have kids. That's still the general standard for what's considered the ideal life.
This especially applies to women, who feel the immense pressure to become wives and mothers from an early age.
The Happiest Of Them All
However, in more recent decades especially, we're seeing a bigger push away from standard ways of living. People are embracing less traditional routes, finding happiness and purpose elsewhere. In fact, they may be finding even more happiness than those who are sticking to the status quo.
Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. Bella DePaulo has compiled a list of studies that all seem to point toward the same thing: single, childfree women are among the happiest people out there.
To follow up on this conclusion, author Shahida Arabi spoke to therapists, psychiatrists, single & childfree women, and more to better understand why this life appears to be so fulfilling.
Feeling Unshackled
Dr. Ryan Sultan, a Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University, listed some of the commonly noted benefits of remaining single and child-free. These include more freedom and flexibility for personal desires, more time spent on self-care, better financial independence, and more time for community engagement.
Therapist Ann Russo further elaborated on the 'freedom' point in particular, explaining that a single, child-free life allows women to be on a constant path of self-discovery. Instead of slotting themselves into the sole role of 'mother,' which can sometimes feel unmoving and rigid, they remain able to constantly learn, grow, and change. She also mentioned that thanks to this freedom, they're able to better prioritize and thus fulfill their personal needs.
Stronger Bonds With Others
"First and foremost is that as any mother will tell you, having children makes it exceedingly hard to focus on yourself," said Psychologist Dr. Linda Baggett.
She also pointed out that childfree women are better equipped to meaningfully connect with other children in their life, such as the kids of family members. "Childfree women can also engage with the children in their life in a way that is fulfilling and fun, without it completely taking over by having to do it 24/7. This allows these women to really make the most out of the time they do have to connect with kids."
Putting Themselves First
Therapist Dolly Ferraiuolo explained that the choice to be childfree is empowering for women who crave autonomy. "Many of my clients have expressed a strong desire for personal autonomy and freedom in their lives. Choosing to be child-free allows them to prioritize their individual goals, aspirations, and personal growth."
It also helps prevent a fear many people who grew up with childhood trauma have of becoming their parents. "By not becoming parents, they can devote their time, energy, and resources to their own well-being and pursue their passions wholeheartedly."
To Focus On Careers
She also explained that remaining child-free specifically can have career benefits. "In today's world, women are pursuing careers and achieving professional milestones like never before. Many of my clients have shared their ambitions and the sense of fulfillment they derive from their professional lives. Being child-free provides them with the flexibility and availability to dedicate themselves fully to their careers, taking on new challenges, and making significant contributions in their respective fields."
There's certainly something to be said for how motherhood shouldn't affect one's standing in their career, but that remains the world we operate under.
Brighter Selves
"Being childfree has not only allowed me to focus on my career but also on my personal development and relationships with loved ones. From a professional standpoint, I've observed a sense of lightness and unparalleled self-awareness in my clients who have also chosen a childfree path," describes Counselor Hannah Mayderry. "There is a notable vibrancy and freedom in their lives that stems from being able to direct their energy towards their personal development, passions, and dreams."
"Often, societal narratives suggest that fulfillment for women comes with motherhood. However, I witness every day that fulfillment is deeply personal and not tied to a universal role or expectation."
On A Smaller Scale
Lastly, she acknowledges the smaller, seemingly more mundane reasons that she enjoys her own childfree life, little things that build up to a happier life for her. "[...] I love being able to sleep in on the weekends, go to fancy dinners with my friends, travel without guilt, and invest in my own continuing education [...]."
"The decision to be child-free is a deeply personal one, influenced by a myriad of factors unique to each individual. My clients' experiences and my own journey have taught me that embracing this choice can lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life."
Growing Issues
Sarah Reid, LMHC, shared what she sees from married clients of hers who also have children, seeing a disturbing trend among them. "Married women with children often express their frustrations in therapy. They express feeling undervalued and unappreciated. They have sacrificed in both their personal and professional life, caring not only for themselves, but performing the unpaid labor of caring for a husband and children."
She then added, "Although there is the myth of happily ever after in marriage, evidently single women without children are the happiest."
Lessening With Age
Though, the person who put it best might be Sarah Simon, a travel blogger who's never been married or had kids, two things that have certainly given leniency to her career. She describes how she's always been driven to explore the world on her own over worrying about marriage. "[...] the older I get, the less I care about even thinking about marriage in general," she wrote.
She then adds a very important point, one that's worth remembering through all of this. "There's so much to experience in the world beyond worrying about what society thinks, in my opinion, whether people choose to get married or have kids or not—whatever makes people happy, should be totally fine and acceptable [...]!"
Freedom For All
No one can dictate what makes you happy. No matter what studies might say, if you find joy and purpose in being a wife, mother, or both, then that's amazing! You should choose the life you know you'll be happiest in, whatever that may be.
The problem is that there's still plenty of stigma and judgement that follow women who remain single, unmarried, or without children. Until all women are free to live whatever life they choose free from societal pressures to do otherwise, there will always be those who feel trapped, and no one deserves to suffer under that weight.
Maybe you can see that brighter future on the horizon, but are too scared to make the leap. If fear, anxiety, or guilt has you feeling caged in, it's time to break free.
This free 10-minute audio can help you overcome that which scares you and free you from the binds you find yourself in. You, too, can learn to live fearlessly and chase after those dreams you've hidden away. Click here to experience how freeing a life without fear can be!
